I wish I could be like those people who compartmentalize their lives. They put all their feelings about a certain subject or person into one little box and have no trouble separating it out. They stay off the emotional battlefield, even when they’re lobbing grenades and don’t know it.

They set things aside and wall it off so they don’t have to think about it, so they don’t risk vacillating. Then they push forward with what they have to do and do it.

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My motivation is tied to my emotions and it’s hell to push myself to act when I am raw and even worse to pretend I’m inspired when I am hurting inside. No matter how much I would like to shove things aside and not think about them right now, I cannot.

I can’t compartmentalize. I’m just not wired that way.

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