Can You Look at Yourself in the Mirror?

Self-Portrait, April 2010

I will believe in honor.

I will not become jaded.

I will not lose my compassion.

I will not be a victim.

I will conduct my relationships with integrity.

I will love myself enough to demand accountability from those who do not behave honorably toward me.

I can look myself in the mirror and not flinch.

Sometimes people disappoint us.  We can make excuses for them or we can acknowledge that they’re human.  We can even forgive them.  That doesn’t mean we have to continue our relationship in the same way, especially when we’ve conducted our side of the relationship with honor and integrity and they’ve done everything but.

There is a tendency, after such a blow, to wall ourselves off, to withdraw.  We think that if this one person we cared for can be so corrupt, then anyone can be…that anyone is…that everyone is.

The lens of life we look through can become tinted a darker shade, one that matches the experience with that one person.  Or even with many other such persons, since feeling keenly such a betrayal brings similar betrayals to us via the Law of Attraction.

But I don’t want to be that way.  My friend Jillian used to tell me I was too idealistic.  I’d learn something awful about a person or two and still give them the benefit of the doubt or be too forgiving, and later get burned.  But I like being idealistic.  I like being compassionate and trusting.  I don’t ever want to become jaded by too many heartbreaks to not be idealistic and compassionate and trusting.

Balance has been the key for me.  Holding a liar accountable.  Pulling back the curtain to show the truth, regardless of how ugly it may be.  Seeking justice to balance an injustice.  Seeking truth to balance a lie.  It helps me to believe that the world is not skewed to favor the dishonorable man.

I still believe that there are good people out there.  I like that I believe it.