Category: Relationships

  • Why Can’t You Be Happy for Me?

    “Why can’t you just be happy for me?” It wasn’t a question. It was more of a demand. There was anger in his voice, as well as frustration. It came out in a–almost–throw-away, half-wail, half-retort. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?” The words came out angry, yes, but also deeply wounded. I hadn’t…

  • Relationship Guideline: When You Start Making Excuses

    It’s been years now, but I still remember the first time I made excuses for a significant other. I sat at my best friend’s kitchen table during a long lunch hour I’d taken in the middle of the work week. My kids were little—in kindergarten and elementary school—so weekday lunches were the only time my…

  • Ghosting: Why Some Romantic Partners Disappear without Warning

    My writer friend, Christine Ashworth,  called to my attention something I found to be all too common in the dating world. I didn’t realize it had a name and I really didn’t realize that anyone else endured it besides me. Christine pointed out an article about Sean Penn and Charlize Theron that explained the relationship…

  • Before You Get Too Old, Make Things Right

    There’s nothing sadder—or more karmic—than the husk of a once vital, strong, aggressive, even abrasive individual who has waited too late to make things right and has to both live and die with that regret. I’ve seen enough of it to know to try to do my best by people so that I won’t have…

  • How Can I Ever Trust Again?

    For the last two years, my biggest personal hurdle has been trust. I was burned to ash and left with the constant question of “how can I ever trust anyone again?”  How many years would I have to be with someone and how deep would the relationship have to be for me to feel comfortable…

  • Family Bullies: Victims of Their Own Drama

      She was my tyrannical father’s beloved mother. And, under other circumstances, in other lifetimes, perhaps I would have called her Grandma. But not in this one. In this lifetime, she never felt like a grandmother to me, even though my own father pushed me into her arms on many occasions. I never felt any…

  • My Name Is Consequences

    My name is Consequences. That’s my secret name. Known only to you.  You gave it to me. But not at first. At first, you called me by the name Curiosity. You called me Fun. You called me Adventure and later Happiness, and often Love. You called me Deep. You called me Soul Mate. You called…

  • Do We Ever Really Know Anyone?

    “When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche When I was very young, I believed it was possible to know a person—really know them—after only a few weeks, or maybe even after only a few nights spent sitting up talking passionately about who we were and who we…

  • That Bullshit about Forgiveness

    You’ve heard that bullshit about forgiveness, haven’t you? If you’ve ever been hurt or angry or hurt and angry or brought to your knees, then someone somewhere has certainly lectured you on forgiveness…and how light and happy you’ll feel when you forgive…and how not forgiving is like carrying acid inside you that eats away at…

  • It’s a God Thing…and I’m a Turtle

    The sun wasn’t even up yet—though the deepening pink on the tall white clouds announced its arrival—and my Fitbit had just buzzed my 10,000thstep. I’d already said “Good Morning” to the usual dozen or so joggers and runners I see on my morning miles when I stopped at a little bridge to take in the…