Category: Relationships
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Dating the Mentally Ill
Mama always told me, when I was a teenager, “They’re best to you while they’re courting you.” It was a warning against all men, but she didn’t mean it as a misandrist attack. She’d had experience with really only one man, and he was the basis for her conclusions. She married a young man who…
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3 Spiritual Reasons I Finally Quit Online Dating
This week, my online dating site subscription runs out. I’m not renewing. I decided that about four months ago when I put my profile on private and began the wait to make sure they don’t auto-renew me again in spite of my directions otherwise. So I’m leaving behind online dating, I think, for good. …
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What Is Epic Love…and Why It Eludes Me
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about…epic love. Or true love. Probably because two friends of mine seem to talk about it quite a lot: one, who lost his epic love years ago, and the other who just married hers, a man twenty years her junior who’s been her partner for nearly a decade.…
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Learning Something from Men Who Aren’t Dirtbags
I want to say thank you. Thank you to the men in my life who aren’t dirtbags. Lest you think I’m being a misandrist, I really don’t have a general hatred for all men, but I do have a profound distaste for some of the more prominent men who’ve populated my life. I’ve had…
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Best Partners: First Followers
This week, I was introduced to the concept of First Followers, for the first time. In essence, a leader may look ridiculous to the general public but when the first person has the courage to step forward to give social proof that the leader has something worth following, that first follower turns a leader’s ideas…
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The Aftermath of Breaking Patterns
Just because we’ve broken an old pattern does not mean that it isn’t still there, even if it’s only broken shards reflecting the past and still capable of cutting us deeply. Now we have to deal with the broken glass. The past year has been a life-changer for me and a time of immense personal…
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Energy Exchange: The Imperative Need in Any Relationship
Energy exchange. Not a common phrase but fitting. What I need in any relationship is simple: reciprocity. By “relationships,” I mean any relationship–business or personal, romantic or platonic, social or family, employer or employee, inner circle or outer circle. I’ve also called it “emotional support” when I gave lots of nurturing but got…
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When Will True Love Come? What “Work on Yourself” Really Means
People often tell the broken-hearted to “Take a break” from looking for true love and “Work on yourself.” I admit that I’ve offered that advice to others, particularly to women who’ve centered their lives around one man and ignored their own self-actualization, women so dependent that they cannot go to a restaurant alone or can’t…
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Survival for the Recovering Codependent
Here’s a big secret…or maybe not. Recently I’ve had some pretty harsh things to say, in both public and private posts, about alcoholics, addicts, people who don’t take responsibility for their actions, etc. I’ll explain further for those of you who don’t know the specific situations so you’ll understand better why I can’t have certain…
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When Unconditional Love Just Isn’t Enough
This past year has certainly been a season for understanding unconditional love and boundaries, however painful as it may have been. But it’s also been a time for me of healing and understanding things in very different ways than they first appeared. I had an argument recently with an old friend about the concept…