Done with Waiting

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Below.

“I’m done with waiting!”

There.   I’ve announced it.   Some of the people who know me (or think they do) are probably overjoyed.  And others are shaking in their boots.  That’s because neither group knows what I’m talking about and they’re trying to fill in the blanks in ways that have little or nothing to do with them, and that’s kind of funny.

I heard a story a long time ago from a colleague who was always waiting on a promotion.   She did nothing to increase her skills, nothing  to network, and complained daily about how everyone was being promoted ahead of her.  People suggested she write herself up for awards (a common practice, I later discovered after I got promoted the last time),  take more long-distance classes that would take her away from home for  six weeks to six months (something I consciously refused to do so I wouldn’t be away from my kids), or take a career-broadening assignment  that  would  have  her  working  15-hour  days  and weekends for a year.

I’ll  admit that I, too, complained about the lack of promotions for someone who put their kids  and  homelife  ahead  of  the  job,  but  I  eventually found an interesting  position that didn’t require the elbow-rubbing, the  extra time away from family, and the constant travel.             It took                   a long time  to  find something that allowed a balance, but it did come.  I saw this woman a few days ago, and she’s angry over yet another promotion she hasn’t gotten.   She hasn’t spoken to me since I got  my  last  big  promotion…four   years  ago…but  okay, whatever.

The story she used to share was one of a faithful dog who was abandoned by its owners.  It waited by the roadside, regardless of the weather, for their return until it finally  died  of  neglect.  That’s  the  way  she  saw  herself:                faithful, steadfast,  starving,  lonely,  wanting…and waiting  through  anything  and  everything  and  not  only waiting but expecting an award for waiting.  And knowing no one was coming back for her.  But still deserving that award for waiting.  I hear so many people say that they’re waiting for—oh,                      fill                          in            the         blank—before they can have their dreams.  Maybe  it’s more  money or more time  or the stars to line up a certain way.   But everything has to be “just right” before they can launch their dreams, even the smallest part of their dreams,  and all they  do, all their lives, is wait.  That’s not to say that there aren’t things, and people, worth waiting for.  But there are actions that can be taken and dreams that can be fulfilled—or at least started—that don’t require any waiting.

Waiting puts the dream always somewhere  in the future, always at arms-length  away.  That means you don’t get to enjoy your dream now.

We wait  for  everything  to  be  perfect  before  we act.  It’s our way of building in security, something  that may never really be there or, even if it is, we may never choose to recognize it as such because of our own mental outlook.

Sixteen years ago, I had a dream and a plan that I’d be able to write full-time  and write whatever I wanted.          I never followed that dream.   I got caught up in trying to write six BIG manuscripts  a year so that, if I could only sell ever so many books on a  regular basis and have a couple  of  years’  of  manuscripts  sold  so  that  I’d  have enough  steady  income  to  replace  my  day  job  income, then I’d be able to write full-time.   There were plenty of reasons to wait on my dream.   We couldn’t afford it, or thought we couldn’t.              We  needed the extra income,  or thought we did.                       We  meanwhile moved into a house 3 times  the  size  of  the  old  one,   with  a  mortgage  to match.  My day job’s income doubled, so it made the idea of a few years or more with little or no income much less appealing on the homefront.  It always seemed possible, the idea of writing full-time, but it was always “Maybe in a couple of years.”   So my dream, no matter how many years passed, was always a couple of years into the  future.

Does  this  mean  I’m  quitting  my  day  job  tomorrow?  Not quite.  But it does mean that many of the projects, ideas, relationships, and more that I’ve put on hold because I was waiting for …something  (not  astrology in this case!)… to line up just perfectly, are now going into full action.

So now when someone says, “What are you waiting for?” in regard to me following my dreams, it won’t be a nebulous,  “I  can’t  just  yet.”                      My  answers  are  concrete.  Like, I’m finishing a particular project that will be the product I’ll sell when I launch XYZ.  Or I’m waiting for  the  rights  back  to  that  particular  project  before  I launch that.  Or I’m writing the first four lessons before I launch a  52-week  course.  So yes, there may be a little wait time in there, but it won’t be waiting for “when the time is right.”  No, the waits will be only a pause in getting to the next steps.

But as for getting my dreams?  I’m done with waiting.