Calling in the Extraordinary
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Below.
My mentor likes to ask if Iâ€™ve accomplished Â certain goals and visions, and then how I feel about them. I had told her a couple of Â months ago that I was always too busy to socialize yet I wanted to meet new friends. With a huge caveat. New friends who were positive-minded and upbeat, yet real. New friends who would share a lot of common ground. New friends who would not spend most of their time living vicariously through Â me or telling me what I should or shouldnâ€™t be Â doing. Â New friends who would be an obvious break in the predominant pattern in my life.
Not that my old friends or current friends have been all bad! But several instances since the summer have high- lighted the near-impossibility of talking with an old friend I hadnâ€™t seen in years without all that judgment Â because Iâ€™m not doing the things they want me to do with my life. Then again, theyâ€™re not doing what they want with their own lives.
But itâ€™s that caveat thatâ€™s kept me from making many new social contacts for the past year or more as Iâ€™ve whittled down my circle, intentionally and unintentionally.
When I next meet my Personal Yoda, Iâ€™ll report several new opportunities to meet and enjoy the company of new friends, Â even though Â most will be in this area for only another six to 12 months. (I guess thatâ€™s to keep me from getting too attached to anything here?) Iâ€™ll also get to report lunch with a new friend as being a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10.
C.S. is Â a Â new Â friend Â I Â met Â through Â my Â journal, Â a woman about my age with tons in common, with very few exceptions. Most notable, sheâ€™s in a strong, long-term marriage that allows for a lot of independence as well as family/team effort. But other than that weird Â blind-date feeling of meeting someone face-to-face for the first time after Â talking Â online, Â it Â was Â just Â incredible Â to Â talk Â with someone with a positive outlook who isnâ€™t Pollyanna either. Â How Â cool Â to Â talk Â aboutÂ our Â dreams Â and Â futures without anyone Â saying, Â â€œThatâ€™s Â not Â going Â to Â workâ€ Â or some paraphrased Â version of â€œYouâ€™re going to fail.â€ No, just a warm, open-minded, positive person.
But thatâ€™s what Iâ€™ve been calling in for several months. More people in my life with this kind of mindset.
I have reluctantly come to believe that the things in our lives are what weâ€™ve called in, even the bad stuff and the drama. I did say, didnâ€™t I, that I wanted to be able to help other peopleÂ overcome Â their Â problems Â by sharing my Â experiences Â with Â them? Â So Â Iâ€™ve Â observed Â and Â discussed a lot of drama and been hit between the eyes with a lot more. Iâ€™ve had some downright bad stuff happen to me that wasnâ€™t fun at all, and much of it broke my heart in umpteen different ways but made me into a more com- passionate person Â with a better grasp of why people do the things they do and how we are Â all connected in the human experience. Â I have a lot those â€œexperiences Â to be overcomeâ€ in my tool box now. In fact, I think I have all that I need of those.
Itâ€™s time to tweak my plan. Iâ€™m still going to help people defy their pasts and manifest their futures by sharing my experiences, Â but Iâ€™m now going to call in more positive experiences Â to share. Â I will remain Â an Â observer Â of other peoplesâ€™ dramas but I will no longer get pulled into fixing Â things Â for them Â as I as a codependent Â so often have. Iâ€™ll be â€œneutralâ€ and â€œobserveâ€ while I live my own life.
My life is about to become something truly extraordinary.