Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
I’m so used to being driven. I rarely feel really peaceful because I have so much to do and so much more that I want to do.
Normally on the way home from work, I’m winding down from the job and winding up for a powerhouse evening of all the things I must get done before I completely crash at 2 AM, knowing I’ll have to be up in just a few hours.
I know it’s related to this recent “shift” I’ve felt, but on the way home today, I had such a feeling of peacefulness that I was uneasy. It was an odd sense of not being rushed for once, even though I really did have plenty waiting on me. But just a sense that all was well, and I didn’t have to rush tonight. And the oddest intuition that…I have some leisure coming up.
In a way, it reminded me of the times when I used to have spiritual/social gatherings in my house every Sunday night. About 3 PM, I’d put on a huge pot of turkey spaghetti, break out a few bottles of wine, set out but not yet light the tea candles all over the family room, and do a quick pickup around the house in preparation for company coming. The buzz of excitement would start around 2:30 to 3:30 PM—a luscious sense of anticipation for having friends come over and talk about all sorts of spiritual issues as well as sharing family matters, job concerns, and new ideas.
How I experienced my ride home today and the first hour home was most like those experiences of late Sunday afternoon prep for good times and friends to come.
Maybe it’s related to the upcoming Labor Day weekend.
Except that I’ve made absolutely no plans to do any-
thing with anyone, except for a movie with the girls. I didn’t decide not to have plans—I was simply too busy with work to notice that the long weekend was sneaking up on me.
And I’ll definitely fill my time productively—I have some spikes to axe out of the wall and one last patio walkway to finish, for example—but the intuition feels more like I might actually go do something social and fun for a change. Not sure what.
I guess what’s throwing me is a sense that some pressure is gone. It’s like a decision’s been made. I don’t know what it is yet, but it’s all okay.
Shannon sensed it, too, and we talked about it on a quick walk before the thunder ran us back inside and how very unusual it feels to have this sense of oppression and pressure lifted.
“It feels like this is how things will feel when we get to where we’re going,” she told me. I knew exactly what she meant. The sensation that it was a preview of what life is going to be like in the not-too-distant future.
We walked back to the house and I wasn’t at all sure what to do with this strange sense of coming leisure. Then I looked at my bed, at the clock beside it that rarely registers more than 4.5 hours of sleep…and I went to bed at seven hours earlier than usual.