Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
Sometimes a-ha moments just bubble up out of the subconscious mind at the strangest moments. Like between the strawberries and the sweet potatoes.
I can’t sleep and there’s no food in the house because I spent the day working and the evening…doing other stuff that wasn’t worth doing.
It strikes me on a middle-of-the-night grocery run.
Something said to me years ago by a talented clairvoyant at a spiritual gathering. It’s been at least three years ago, and I’d completely forgotten. And I don’t know how I could have forgotten and why I’d ever think of it on this night after all this time.
My marriage was over and I knew it, though it was another year before I filed for divorce. The last thing I had on my mind was men. I would have been perfectly content if every last one of them vanished from the face of the Earth. Yes. Every…last…one.
(Kinda like at the end of my date with Mister-Not-Speaking-the-Sa me-Language-Didn’t-Slow-Things- Down-with-Girl#9. )
And then, at this gathering, this very talented clairvoyant sat down next to me and told me I was already emotionally divorced, even though I was still wearing my wedding band. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it was true. I’d already seen a lawyer but I hadn’t done anything yet. There was no closeness left, and seemingly no love at all. But at least I was off of the anti-depressants I’d needed to get through the days and the sleeping pills I’d needed to get through the nights.
The clairvoyant told me that around the time the divorce went final, a new man would pop into my life. Not new to me, but new in that I knew him and had never thought of him in that way.
I distinctly remember rolling my eyes. Particularly at the very specific description given to me. Someone younger whom I’d find very sexy and sweet and I’d be crazy about him and he’s stir up some very intense feelings for me, maybe more than I’d ever known. Not just that, but this would be a man who really understood me and appreciated me. Yeah, right. I didn’t know anyone like that!
I wasn’t particularly interested in anything the clairvoyant had to say about men. I’d had quite enough of
men. I didn’t want any more. At all. No interest. Not romantic or sexual or even platonic. In fact, I was having a hard time trying not to hate all men.
“He’s going to want to be friends for a long time before there’s more,” the clairvoyant told me. “As for you, after you meet this man, your inner Aphrodite is going to come out like never before.”
I remember responding with something between choking and laughter. I couldn’t see myself ever having any interest in a man again. Ever.
“My inner Aphrodite,” I told the clairvoyant, “is dead and buried.”
“Well, then,” the clairvoyant said with a grin, “She’s about to be resurrected.”
Funny that I’d think of this now.