Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Curves.
I meet such interesting people, and the bizarre thing is that so many of these people, Iâ€™ve known for years. I simply didnâ€™t know that they had so Â many unusual and fun secrets.
Case in point, Â the Â male Â friend Â from long Â ago Â whoÂ confesses that heâ€™s a sexual submissive, 24/7. He proudly introduces me to the wife/mistress (or was that mistress/ wife?) whom he could not shut up about. Â There are also a few other people, some of whom I know at Â least at a passing glance, and Iâ€™m a bit shocked to find out their secrets.Â Â Intrigued, too, at the kinds of things people keep hidden away and why.
Some are Â Pagan, Â some Â Christian, Â a Â few Â Agnostics; theyâ€™re well-educated and interesting. Thereâ€™s no problem carrying on a Â conversation. Â Â Â Â I run into several of these couples at a very vanilla social event.
One of them, a Pagan seeker who practices alone and identifies Â herself Â as neo-Wicken Â [sic], asked if I have a craft Â name. Â She Â explains Â that Â she Â has Â a Â craft Â name, Â a scene name for her dom/sub lifestyle, a Â stage name for her acting career and a legal name thatâ€™s actually on her driverâ€™s license.
I respond that I have a craft name, which I use in ritual and hardly Â anywhere else. Iâ€™m simply Lorna. I donâ€™t really go by â€œLadyâ€ or Â â€œMaâ€™amâ€ Â or any of the titles. I never really thought Â about this before, Â but I donâ€™t feel like I really need to have all of these separate identities. Iâ€™m more of a fully integrated person now than Iâ€™ve ever been before.Â Â Â Â My Â true name, my true identity, is some- thing older than written language anyway.
Before we leave to go our separate ways, the submissive woman tells me how much she likes me as a friend and enjoys talking to me. Â â€œYou should try this, too,â€ she says. She gives private details, all the intense feelings that she derives from her relationship with her Master.Â Â â€œYou have to try being a submissive, Â you know.Â Â Itâ€™s the only way to go. I just canâ€™t tell you how wonderful it is to be a submissive. Â It is the way it should be.â€
I donâ€™t doubt that it works for her. Â Just talking about it, I can see that sheâ€™s become Â a virtual puddle on the floor.
My Â submissive Â male Â friendâ€™s Â wife Â shrugs Â and Â disagrees, and then tells me she has the best of all possible worlds.
Later, I discuss the introductions and revelations with a different friend without telling her the names or identities of any of the aforementioned friends and acquaintances. This particular friend rolls her eyes.
â€œThatâ€™s just disgusting,â€ she says.Â Â â€œThe very sex act itself is Â submissive on the womanâ€™s part, so how would she ever be dominant in that kind of relationship?Â Â And as for the one who called her husband Master, well, thatâ€™s just pathetic. What is wrong with people these days after all the equality that women have worked for? You know what? Â I think the absolute only way to be in a relation- ship is if itâ€™s 100% equal. Â He doesnâ€™t dominate and she doesnâ€™t dominate. They are both absolutely Â equal and thatâ€™s the way it should be.â€
I smile and say no more. Â Clearly for the two couples they found what works for them, and for her, sheâ€™s found what works, too. Â Yes, I certainly do draw interesting people into my life.