Building, Building, Building
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Tilt.
Iâ€™ve been back from Daytona for almost 2 weeks now, and Iâ€™m beginning Â to feel that surge of â€œgoodÂ energyâ€ fade. Â The teal of the ocean was definitely good for me.
But back home for 2 weeks and settling back into the daily routine here, Iâ€™m finding that Iâ€™m really having to fight the heaviness all around.Â Â Thereâ€™s a sense of inertia, of having been dropped in molasses and frozen as I try to push forward, push through. The excitement of all the things to do and all the things to be done when I got back has started to fade, but I wonâ€™t let it.
I donâ€™t like this encroaching heaviness. Â Iâ€™m doing my best to shake it off. Â Itâ€™s like a dark fog that tries to creep back in and surround me, but Â such is the energy I feel here these days.
The good thing is, Â I seem to be getting help from the Ether. My guides are drawing me to be more focused on projects Â and possibilities.Â Â Â Â Â Â Â On building, Â building, Â buildingâ€¦creating Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â something new so that once I Â extract myself from this muck, the path ahead will be clear. Â Unknown perhaps, but clear.
For some reason, I find myself repeatedly drawn to the Central Florida area. Â I have been since last fall, but I donâ€™t know why. Â Thereâ€™s Â nothing there for me. Â No one there for me. Â I have friends all over Florida, some in the Central coastline areas, but none in that particularly area.
Could Â it Â be Â an Â impending Â empty Â nest Â syndrome? Aislinn hasnâ€™t given much thought to college yet, but my elder child has. Â Since last fall, Shannonâ€™s started talking about going to college in either Gainesville or Orlando, Â and Â I Â admit, Â the Â energy Â from Â the Â Gainesville/ Ocala area has been enticing on the 3 occasions Â in the past year that Iâ€™ve driven through there. Â And now I have an invitation Â to Â attend Â and speak Â at the Florida Â Pagan Gathering in the Ocala National Forest, with the likes of my online pagan buddiesâ€”M.R. Sellars, Kristin Madden, Dorothy Morrisonâ€”all of whom Iâ€™m very excited about spending time with and meeting them in person for the first time.
I donâ€™t have an exact spot in Central Florida that draws me. Â I know itâ€™s away from the coastline and away from hurricanes, Â at Â least Â directly. Â Itâ€™s Â safer Â than Â here, Â and though I donâ€™t have an urgent push to get the hell of out Dodgeâ€¦er, Nicevilleâ€¦this Â summer, Â there Â is a strong urge to get further inland to where my family will be safer from whateverâ€™s Â coming in the next couple of hurricane seasons. Â Katrina was not the last of her kind.
But as for elsewhere in Florida, Central Florida in particular, thereâ€™s not a specific spot that calls to me. Â At least, not yet. Â And Iâ€™m not quite sure what this is all about.
The log-jams on home projects are breaking through, too, though Iâ€™ll likely be working away at them for the rest of the summer, both on the inside and the outside of the house.Â Â And thereâ€™s still plenty of work for my little chainsaw to do!
Thereâ€™s just an odd sensation of being so incredibly busy and getting things done and getting projects and in- formation out there. Â It seems that that would be the culmination, but it isnâ€™t.
Thisâ€”my guides tell meâ€”this is not the culmination at all. Â This, they tell me, this stage Iâ€™m going throughâ€¦ right nowâ€¦and for at least the rest of Juneâ€¦is all about preparation..