Law of Attraction Followers: Something That Bugs Me
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Love in the Third Degree.
I love how upbeat Law of Attraction followers can be, but sometimes, they (like anyone else) can be downright insensitive. I just think that it doesn’t hurt to be kind, you know?
So here’s where followers have perturbed me and sometimes still do.
1. Several years ago, one of the online communities I’ve been a part of for the past 15 years (yes, it was a dial-up bulletin board when it started)had an online chat. The moderator suggested that we check in with each other and tell a little about what was going on in our lives since we’d all been so busy. Great idea!
Someone posted about getting a three-book contract that made her happy but she was still dealing with her teen’s drug abuse and it was breaking her heart.
Another woman talked about issues with her son’s DUI, her bankruptcy, and a reunion with her birth mother.
Someone else said she was thrilled with her family’s accomplishments but having a hard time with her sister’s behavior and was hoping to move to a new house by spring.
I mentioned that I’d filed for divorce and was struggling with it.
Most everyone had good and bad, some more bad than others, to share. They hadn’t had a safe place to talk about it and it came as a release for many. But whether it was the good or the bad, it was what was on their minds at that moment.
Then a woman who was a major follower of the Law of Attraction posted that her life was great, she was healthy, her marriage was wonderful, her kids were great, her job was prosperous, etc, etc. Every word sounded like a positive affirmation. Which was great for her, but everyone else sort of hated her at that moment. Not that misery doesn’t love company, but some people needed to talk through their wounds and her extreme positivity upset a few people. Sometimes people just need to vent or have their hurt acknowledged, especially when that’s the reason for the community.
2. Another online support-oriented group I’ve been a member of has recently discovered the Law of Attraction. Now it’s almost as if no one can say anything that isn’t 100% positive. The thing is, this is one place where people have been able to come in the past and say, hey, I’m having a hard time with this, and get support. That feeling isn’t there anymore. Now people quickly remind a support-seeker that they’re bringing down the good vibes for the rest of the group and whatever’s wrong is their own fault. That may be true, but the “support” part of this group has shifted. The last woman to post that she was having trouble with her crazy family and trying attract a calmer time was treated like a pariah. Again, sometimes people just need to vent or have their hurt acknowledged, especially when that’s the reason for the community.
3. While attending on online class on the Law of Attraction, I was stunned by the coldness of some of the instructors. This is the part that bothers me most, I think. The people who use it to distance themselves from the plight of others.
A woman (no, not me!) asked the panel a question about her estranged husband. The man had some emotional problems and suddenly moved to the other side of the country, leaving her alone and confused. She talked about how real their love had been and how she didn’t understand what had happened.
One of the instructors told her she’s attracted this heartbreak into her life and that clearly she and her husband weren’t vibrating on the same level any longer.
That was an abrupt answer, but the next one floored me. “So stop thinking about him and move on with your life. Yes, your love might have been real. So is the fact that he dumped you and left you with no explanation. Get over it and attract someone new.”
A third instructor smoothed over the answers of the first two, fortunately, explaining that the breakup could be the Universe’s way of fulfilling their attraction for new experiences and personal growth, and that they weren’t vibrating the same needs and answers for each other right now. There was more, and it was good, but I barely heard because of the coldness of the first two instructors.
I think that no matter what you teach and how much you teach individual responsibility for bringing things into their lives or holding them out, there is still room for kindness for others and for helping them to understand what’s happening in their lives without discounting their hurt.