Different Strokings

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Curves.

I meet such interesting people, and the bizarre thing is that so many of these people, I’ve known for years. I simply didn’t know that they had so  many unusual and fun secrets.

The Long-Awaited Honest-to-God Secret to Being Happy

Case in point,  the  male  friend  from long  ago  who confesses that he’s a sexual submissive, 24/7. He proudly introduces me to the wife/mistress (or was that mistress/ wife?) whom he could not shut up about.  There are also a few other people, some of whom I know at  least at a passing glance, and I’m a bit shocked to find out their secrets.   Intrigued, too, at the kinds of things people keep hidden away and why.

Some are  Pagan,  some  Christian,  a  few  Agnostics; they’re well-educated and interesting. There’s no problem carrying on a  conversation.      I run into several of these couples at a very vanilla social event.

One of them, a Pagan seeker who practices alone and identifies  herself  as neo-Wicken  [sic], asked if I have a craft  name.  She  explains  that  she  has  a  craft  name,  a scene name for her dom/sub lifestyle, a  stage name for her acting career and a legal name that’s actually on her driver’s license.

I respond that I have a craft name, which I use in ritual and hardly  anywhere else. I’m simply Lorna. I don’t really go by “Lady” or  “Ma’am”  or any of the titles. I never really thought  about this before,  but I don’t feel like I really need to have all of these separate identities. I’m more of a fully integrated person now than I’ve ever been before.     My  true name, my true identity, is some- thing older than written language anyway.

Before we leave to go our separate ways, the submissive woman tells me how much she likes me as a friend and enjoys talking to me.  “You should try this, too,” she says. She gives private details, all the intense feelings that she derives from her relationship with her Master.   “You have to try being a submissive,  you know.   It’s the only way to go. I just can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be a submissive.  It is the way it should be.”

I don’t doubt that it works for her.  Just talking about it, I can see that she’s become  a virtual puddle on the floor.

My  submissive  male  friend’s  wife  shrugs  and  disagrees, and then tells me she has the best of all possible worlds.

Later, I discuss the introductions and revelations with a different friend without telling her the names or identities of any of the aforementioned friends and acquaintances. This particular friend rolls her eyes.

“That’s just disgusting,” she says.   “The very sex act itself is  submissive on the woman’s part, so how would she ever be dominant in that kind of relationship?   And as for the one who called her husband Master, well, that’s just pathetic. What is wrong with people these days after all the equality that women have worked for? You know what?  I think the absolute only way to be in a relation- ship is if it’s 100% equal.  He doesn’t dominate and she doesn’t dominate. They are both absolutely  equal and that’s the way it should be.”

I smile and say no more.  Clearly for the two couples they found what works for them, and for her, she’s found what works, too.  Yes, I certainly do draw interesting people into my life.