Graduations of Friendship
In the next few days, I will be graduating from my relationship with Aquarius Girl, but not from the friendship. She’s leaving, and though this is a wonderful career move for her and I’m honestly glad for the prospects it presents her, this is not a graduation that I’m thrilled about.
What makes this a little close to the heart is that she’s the first of the new set of friends I’ve made since clearing the slate of just about everyone in my circle of friends and acquaintances. Someone with a very different, positive, upbeat attitude who would be a good friend to me as well. She’s exactly the new friend I’d asked the Gods to send me, and I think we’ve had a rather positive impact on each other’s lives. Though I’d known her for years—we’ve worked together for short periods of time here and there–we started sharing professional and personal experiences over a year ago and formed a really nice bond, and an unusual one. There was a side to her that I never knew before.
Many of the people closest to me throughout my life have birthdays in certain “bands.” Similar to the March 16-17th band of friends and family who are very touchy-feely emotionally with huge creativity and very unusual ideas on life, spirituality, and relationships, Aquarius Girl is part of the February 11th band of friends, and that band of friends takes unusual ideas to a whole new level, often to the point of being the brunt of scandal or surrounded by other people’s drama. I could not have asked for a better choice of people to understand my unusal ideas about relationships, men, and independence. Other women in my daily life judge me by the nameplate on my wall and the man in my bed, but Aquarius Girl and I have shared an understanding of being comfortable with who we are, the lives we’ve built, the families we’re raising, immense enjoyment of our independence as women, the frustration with particular men and their place (or not) in our lives, and the difference between living and earning a living. We have an age difference of about 7 years but have tons in common, and I’m grateful to have had a friend like this. There are no attempts to control each other or manipulate or shove advice down each other’s throats as happens in so many relationships. There is simply acceptance, emotional support when the other needs it, and a constant exchange of ideas and intentions. This is the kind of friendship I’d asked the Gods for and it’s more of this kind of friendship I want.
But…she’s moving to a new job and that means things will change. The friendship will remain but the daily relationship will transition into something else, maybe a Thai lunch meeting occasionally, maybe a few emails in between. Someone new will move into her old office and there’ll be new distractions here while she’ll be moving into new responsibilities (that I don’t envy!) and that she’ll need to focus her attention on. Things will move on and whatever our relationship looks like in a month or six months, it will be different from the one we’ve had.
I don’t consider that a completion or an end to our friendship. I don’t consider our friendship “over” because the physical proximity has changed. It’s just a new way of defining how we are friends to one another. It’s a graduation from the last type of relationship to another, and always the chance for our friendship to bloom deeply yet again if Aquarius Girl and I are ever again in close proximity.