Tag: boundaries

—

by

I think one of the most valuable things a counselor ever told me was that when I finally started standing up for myself or telling people no for a change, I’d be told that I’m mean. And that I needed to be prepared for that. She could not have been more right. I remember when…

Speaking Strictly for Me

—

by

No one else heard the tone of voice or the sincerity in it or the want. They saw things, at best, from a distance. Anything they heard was second hand, usually from me in defense of what they didn’t understand, in defense of what I myself had heard. How you see things depends on how…

Too Stupid To Live?

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. How did I get to be so stupid to people who supposedly think I’m so smart? My ex-husband of two decades, a dear confidante of 5 years, and now a business partner and friend of 12 years. All treating me as though I…

Private vs Discreet

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. Discreet relationship, my ass! I wouldn’t mind a private relationship, but there’s a big difference between a private relationship and a discreet one, usually the marital status of one or both parties. What is with these married men asking me out?! I’m divorced,…

It’s Me Who Owes the Apologies

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. Oh. My. Gods. I’ve had it all wrong. The Universe has been giving me mixed messages about my friendship with The Treat. Sometimes I get the message to let him be and give him some distance. At other times, I’m told in no…

Getting My Wish for More Hours in the Day

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. This birthday has been full of gifts—unexpected and amazing and ruthless and, in the long run, very good for me. But right now, I’m struggling with them all, with all these epiphanies coming faster than I can assimilate them. The man on the…

The Birthday Witch Makes Her Sacrifices

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. Witch that I am, I’m about to make another sacrifice, several of them, and all of them unexpected. They hurt, all of them. They’re all another level closer to truth and bone, and I thought I was already there. After all, it’s nearly…

You Can (Not) Depend on Me (For a Change)

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. “Well, will you look at that?” The youth choir director chuckled one Sunday night at six o’clock when he saw me in the doorway of the church music room and then said the same words he said every Sunday night at six o’clock…

Wanted: An Unmarried Man to Discuss Sumerian Resurrection Myths

—

by

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree. Two things keep me from pursuing a man through Internet dating: (1.) engineers and (2.) accountants. Right after my divorce, Meredith convinced me that Internet dating was the best way to find a man. After all, that’s how she’d found her honey, and…

The No Longer List

Mar 19, 2009

—

by

in Energy

As my body tries to heal, I find that the usual drains on my energy are too much for me and I need to conserve and focus on myself. Helping other people has been such a norm for so long that it’s hard to make the switch, but I am slashing through some of the…

Believing in Myself: 3 Moments I Knew I Had my Confidence Back

Feb 21, 2009

—

by

I’m a big fan of looking over your shoulder every now and then to know how far you’ve come. I can point to three different events in recent months that have been solid proof to me that I have my self-confidence back, and really, maybe even to a point that I have never before had…

My Idea of Profanity

Nov 20, 2008

—

by