What It Is Wednesday: What Do I Want?
All my Father’s Day weekend company left, and I’m looking at a long list of chores and projects that “should have been done already,” like…weeks ago…that I feel the need to stress over because so much has always been expected of me, by myself more than anyone.
And I’m deciding to take them one at a time and not stress over getting it all done.
Let it be part of the day’s work and the day’s joys just as it is, with no pressure to finish everything TODAY and be where I want to be tomorrow TONIGHT.
Because in meditation, I felt the question asked, “What do you want?” and this time the answer was simply, “I want to not try so hard all the time.”
Back in January 2005, I started blogging regularly at a LiveJournal site called SuperGirl@40 as part of my personal therapy to work through healing from a failed marriage…and then suddenly working through all the other crap in my life from childhood. It was a significant part of my healing journey and I shared raw emotions and “dauntless reality” with others in a small circle of new friends who were also dealing with healing from long ago and recent traumas. It was a fairly private blog–well, that privacy lasted until one of my kids mentioned it to an ex-inlaw and then I took a deep breath and watched it go public very quickly. I still write in that raw and profound way I’m known for but having healed so many of my early and frequent wounds, I don’t really write the heavy, raw, vulnerabilities like I used to. I’m committing here to bringing that back, in case you wonder if it ever really left. That means committing to putting the big, scary stuff out there.
The above post is my contribution to this week’s edition of a blog hop started by Kelley Harrell of Soul Intent Arts called “What It Is Wednesday,” which gives bloggers a chance to dauntlessly tell it like it is. You can view the inaugural post to learn more about joining in or just to read other blogs in the hop.