Allowing: “I’ll Take Care of It,” God Said
Dancing widdershins? Or going backwards? Photo from an evening walk at the January 2011 Full Moon, rising just beyond this sign.
For readers of The Spiritual Eclectic, here’s a freebie on January 13-14 — a pagan love story.
For as much magick as we work and work hard at, too, sometimes the hardest part is just letting go and “allowing” things to come to us in a better way than we could ever imagine or just letting Deity act as our Universal Manager without our being so stirred up with anxiety.
Last week, everything was turned upside down for me when I found out a supposedly spiritual person–a fellow pagan who professed to a creed of harm none–was stealing from me. Openly. Admittedly. I give a lot away in my time, resources, and money, but when someone steals from me, that act strikes a chord that is cacophonous and bitter and makes me want to close down and not be quite so giving…at least not of good things.
To further my embitterment over the theft, she rationalized it away as doing it for the poor, or for poor people in “the South,” and she’d generously (her word, not mine) said nice things about me while taking money out of my pocket. All I could think was, I was raised in South Georgia, a good 20+ hour drive south of her in the tightest notch of the Bible Belt, and though we didn’t have much when I was growing up and I’ve always worked for every last thing I have, I never ever stole. If I didn’t have the money, I did without. That excuse for stealing won’t fly with me…or as they say back home (about 100 miles from where I live now), “That dog won’t hunt no more.”
Needless to say, I was upset. I was very close to posting a map to her house and her philosophy that it’s okay to steal if you have a reason. My blood pressure was up for a couple of days and then, suddenly, I just turned it over to Deity to take care of for me, as sure as if God, or Goddess, or perhaps Archangel Michael–whom I work with quite a bit–had said, “Stop fretting about it, Lorna, because I’ll take care of it.”
I guess that would be akin to something I was frequently told in my Southern Baptist childhood: “Vengeance is mine,” sayeth the Lord. That takes on a whole ‘nother level of meaning when you’re a priestess of The Morrigan.
So without a whopper of a zap-you-back-bitch spell or prayers for her destruction enlightenment, I turned it all over to Deity, letting go and letting God take care of it, without any further worry on my part. Within minutes, a calm came over me. Just a deep serenity and knowing that it was “taken care of.” A few hours later, yes, I found out it had been.
That’s not the first time that’s happened, that letting go followed by a sudden sweet serenity, peace. Allowing is one of those harder things for me to remember because I first have to recall that I CAN find calm again and how I do it every time, and then get into the right headspace to let go. For most of my breaths and heartbeats, I am calm, happy, creative, and very productive. But not always.
It’s hardest for me to maintain that serenity–or remember to “allow” when turbulence occurs–when I feel ill or weak or heart-wounded. It’s become so easy for me to manifest when I can “just allow” my needs and desires to be taken care of. There’s no resistance in my energy to letting go and letting my Gods deliver my heart’s desire in little things and even bigger things that have been yearned for for years but finally have come when I’ve let go. I look back at what’s been delivered in the these last 18 months and I find myself giddy with disbelief. It’s come so easily after so long of struggling!
It’s harder sometimes with the things that are closest to the heart, in allowing them to come, in letting go and no longer resisting with our fretting or worrying over them. It is often in those places where we feel the weakest, whether through physical sickness or insecurity or fear over possible loss at a wrong step. Those fears wrap around our desires and we hold onto them, more tightly than the little things or the less important things. Our desires are weighted down and can’t fly freely. Being sick or in a grief state reinforces those feelings of fear and weakness, makes it harder to break through and turn them over to Deity to handle for us.
It would seem, wouldn’t it, that when we’re weakest, we’d be quicker to turn over our weighty fears and problems–wouldn’t it?!–instead of hanging onto them?
Sometimes we need reminders. For me, that’s a simple little ring I have that says ALLOW MIRACLES. I gave it to my daughter when her heart was broken, and later when my heart was broken, she gave it back to me. Those heartbreaks were, in hindsight, miracles that set us free to be loved by far kinder men who enhanced our lives rather than drained. Whenever I am shaken by turbulence, I chase down that little ring and wear it a day or two or until I can find my calm again and allow…because when that calm comes, I know that in spite of the current queasiness, there is a far better outcome on its way to me, and all is being taken care of without–especially without–my worrying about it.