Things I Taught My Daughters on Motherâ€™s Day
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree and Rising.
The three things I taught my daughters on Motherâ€™s Day, 2007:
1. How to disrobe: Driving down the highway, unbuckling the bra with one hand, pulling it off and tossing it into the back seat while singing, â€œIâ€™m free, Iâ€™m free.â€
2. How to get a waitressâ€”fast: Looking up at the silent TV in a restaurant on Motherâ€™s Day evening and seeing that itâ€™s on theâ€”gasp!â€”medical channel and weâ€™re watching bloody baby surgery in the middle of dinner.
3. How to make a man laugh so hard he swallows his tongue: Removing items from our grocery cart at Publix while waiting for the guy in front of us to check out and us commenting on the latest â€œParis Hiltonâ€™s Prison Hellâ€ tabloid story, with my daughter mentioning the sub-headline about â€œlesbian gangsâ€ and me wondering if Paris will videotape that, too.