Fire Burning in Waterâ€” Welcome to 2007!
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Contrast.
Happy 2007, Â everyone!Â I. Â Feel. Â [sigh.] Â WON-DERFUL.
I really Â should Â spend Â more Â time Â in Â ritual. Â It Â either makes me feel Â very…passionate…or Â very relaxed, as if I could just cuddle up in a loverâ€™s Â arms or stretch in bed likeÂ a just-napped Â cat. Tonight, Â Iâ€™mÂ more Â relaxed Â than passionate,Â which is probably a good thing. Iâ€™ll save passionate for when Aislinn isnâ€™t underfoot.
The way I practice my religion is with as little guilt as possible, unlike the Southern Baptists I grew up with. In fact, if I have to feel Â guilty about anything, somethingâ€™s wrong. But Iâ€™m not in a formal church setting every week to sit and listen without participation and I donâ€™t necessarily connect with Deity in ritual when Iâ€™m â€œsupposedâ€ to. Thatâ€™s what makes it special to me. Sort of like getting a gift just because Â rather Â than as part of an obligatory holiday. I think the best rituals, as far as Â raising energy and really feeling the presence of Deity all around, are the ones that arenâ€™t planned for weeks or months in advance. They just…are.
I hadnâ€™t planned a ritual for New Yearâ€™s Eve, but Aislinn ended up at my house and I felt enough disturbances in the Ether that it was starting to piss me off. I was unexpectedly depressed, angry, and anxiousâ€”all for no reason except it seemed to be in the air. New Yearâ€™s Eve is prime-time for looking back at the previous year and all that happened, and it can be an emotional time if someone isnâ€™t happy with the results of the year. I know some people arenâ€™t happy with me about 2006. I decided I didnâ€™t want to carry that into my new year and I was going to do something about it.
My ritual tonight was a two-parter, with the first part being quite Â long. I used the same releasing ritual I used with Daddy a couple of weeks ago. With him, a lot of the candles went out for no obvious reason, so I didnâ€™t know what to expect tonight.
The evening was cool with a lot of fog hanging in the air, like a fine mist. The candles did not want to lightâ€” fire in all that water.
One by one, I called forth those I needed to forgive and release and others I just needed to cut ties with. With each Â one, Â I felt Â lighter. Â Some Â of the Â clingier Â ones, Â Iâ€™d done this with already but they needed a second pruning.
The thing that always surprises me about this particular ritual is the form of ties differentÂ people have to me and how I perceive those ties. Some were simple nets or webs of spiderweb-thin cords. Some were silken scarves tied around my heart. Some were whips Â lashed around my ankles and waist. Some were actual booby-trap burlap nets you might use to capture a jungle cat. Some were loving, hugging Â arms. Some were, to my horror, Â blood and guts and intestines wrapping around me to hold on.
Some of these were simply let go, others were untied, and still Â others had to be severed Â with an Archangelâ€™s sword. The fog turned into a heavy mist on my face as I released them in prayer.
And then they were done and left behind in the old year Â as Â fire Â continued Â to Â burn Â in Â water Â and Â the Â mist turned to a pelting rain, and I Â called in the blessings of the new year to take me forward into the future.