Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Crimes to the Third Degree.

I read an article on twin flames recently, and it resonated with me. I’ve never quite fit into the Cinderella fantasy but I’m not so cold-hearted that I can swear off love and spend the rest of my life in relationship remission.

Flying By Night novel

The article suggested that we are all basically one of four types when it comes to finding our soul mate. I don’t remember the fourth, so I guess I’m not it.

The first is more of the whole Cinderella fantasy that most little girls grow up with. It’s the idea that we and our soulmates are actually one soul, split in half, and we spend our lives searching, literally, for our other half. We are never content, always searching, always incomplete. That’s not me. Doesn’t fit. Even with all my Piscean romanticism, it’s just not me.

The second is the person who is born one soul and has stayed whole and doesn’t need anybody…pretty much ever. They are whole in and of themselves. They may take a mate for political or business reasons or just plain old companionship, but they don’t really need anyone.

The third, and the one that hit home with me, is the person who’s born one soul and has stayed whole. They don’t need anyone to be complete, and yet they find an entirely new expansion of who they are, not a completion but a multiplication (my words) of their soul experience.

So….whole on their own, but still yearning for that extra zing that comes from having a true partner in life in every aspect.

What an interesting idea—to find a soul mate who doesn’t complete you (a la Jerry McGuire) but partners with you for growth, nurturing, spirituality, creativity, total expression of who and what we are and what we’re capable of. That’s…hmmmmm….lovely, isn’t it? Not to use their flame primarily to warm you or to use yours to light their path, but to join the forces of nature that you both are!


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