The Coming Blessing
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Crimes to the Third Degree.
I must give something up soon, and it’s going to be a very good thing that I do.
My coach says I’m like the blindfolded woman with two swords. I’m holding onto so much right now that my hands are tied and something must be released. To mix metaphor, she adds that my plate has been full for a long time now. I’ve kept myself very busy with creative projects, work, home, learning. I’ve made sure I wasn’t bored in the past couple of years, and so there’s been little room, really, for any more major changes in my life.
The time is coming soon to let something go. The blindfolded woman with two swords cannot open her arms to receive a new blessing until she puts down at least one of the swords. She has to give up something she’s been holding onto and fighting with.
In spite of my waffling over being ready for a new romance, for months, it’s nagged at me that I actually haven’t had time for a romantic relationship—and I’m not interested in something that’s strictly physical. I haven’t had time to spend the weekend making road trips to a romantic bed and breakfast. I haven’t had time to spend a couple of hours on the phone every night or snuggled up on the sofa together. I haven’t had time to linger over dinner and wine at a table overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. For a “real” relationship, I want time with a man to build a relationship, and possibly, to build a life together. Not to take over my life 24/7 but time to…share, time to…enjoy a man’s company and discover him physically and support him emotionally. I really haven’t had that kind of time, certainly not in the past year.
So I’m focusing on completing tasks, getting organized, and in forward motion, then creating space in my life for a “real” relationship. Something in my life will have to be let go.
Some of my friends will tell me not to let go of anything, that I shouldn’t give up anything for a man. But that’s not what this is about. This is about making space in my life for the blessing that wants to come into my life, whomever he may be. It’s not about giving up something for a man but about my own growth and joy and loving, and being loved.
And that’s always a blessing.