Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Separation.
Sometimes, I’ll be in the midst of a conversation, and I’ll get a message for that person. Just a little whisper in my mind.
Often, I won’t know what it’s about unless they’ve shared some of themselves with me. All I know is that I’m to pass it on to them when it comes. No matter what.
Sometimes, the message isn’t a good one or it’s one that makes me look foolish to them. I was once publicly ridiculed by a high-ranking colleague after I privately urged him to get to his physician immediately for a particular reason. Al- though he never acknowledged the message I gave him except in jest and ill-natured humor, his secretary told me he had been suffering pains similar to what I’d described and I’d scared him into going to his doctor that week. He had surgery the following week and made a full recovery. I never knew what it was, just that the message had gotten through, even though it was painful for me to deliver it.
So now I have another message. I don’t know who this is for—I suspect for several people—but I have a message to pass along to some seemingly random reader. The person it be- longs to will know it. And though curiosity will kill me, I’ll probably never know who this is for or what it’s about but here it is….
…Yes, these times have been difficult, overwhelming. It has seemed that you cannot take any more drama and trauma, and just when you think it is darkest before the dawn, a few more clouds move in. No matter which way you have moved, you cannot seem to reach sunlight. You see a glimmer here or there and move in that direction, but the sun’s rays are not as bright as you had thought when you were in the dark or another cloud moves between you and the light. You cannot seem to get to where you thought you would be. You are still pinned to a cross.
But it is you who puts you on the cross. Not Deity. Not anyone else. You become a martyr to your past. You accept the constant drama and trauma as your karmic sentence for sins committed long ago before you became the person you are now. You still bear the guilt of things long past, even though you keep it buried in your heart where no one can see what you have done, much of it already forgiven or forgotten by those you sinned against, or they have come to realize your part in their own growth experience and it no longer matters to them in the ways it matters to you. But those resulting tragedies also brought you to where you are now. They hammered you into another person, wounded more enlightened, and hammering is never a gentle thing.
You look at the misery in your life and accept it as your lot. These burdens that weigh you down, you think, are your punishments and that you have spent the past few years getting what you deserve and that you will always be damned. That you can never win so why bother? Again, the cross you bear is one you have hewn yourself, and you do not have to remain nailed to it.
You can come down from your cross. You may think these miseries are what you deserve, but no. The sentence passed on to you by Deity is that you do find joy again and relish life and love and grow and learn.
These traumas are not your punishment. They are merely tools to force you to move onto a better path where you can find joy and wholeness, because following your own path has not brought you peace or love.
The clouds are parting, and there is sunshine if you care to look for it instead of concentrating on the clouds. The long darkness is over, if you will only open your eyes and see that it is passing. As for the path to follow, it is the one in your heart. Because the tug that is in your heart is Deity’s pull in the right direction.
Okay. There. Um…hope that helps…whoever you are.
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