That’s the Way I Like It
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Freedom .
I am in love with this feeling, the fire of creativity coursing through my veins. I can’t remember when it’s been so strong or so furious or so insistent. It’s said that we find moments of immortality, that we defy death, in the god-moments of creativity, of passionate love, of procreation. This feels like all three rolled into one. Can grabbing a power line be any more intense?
I’m in the home stretch with writing Dark Revelations and I’m loving this novel. I don’t want to sleep or talk or even go for a long walk—though I need a break to ground myself. I don’t want to do anything but write and lose myself in it. It’s like channeling from the core of the Earth, up through my feet. It’s like drawing down the moon and sun and all the celestial bodies at once. A full-body mental ecstasy.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. Like all the wet blankets over my fire have been ripped off and my little spark has become a bonfire fed by sulfur.
And the crazy thing is that I can’t wait to be done with this book! Not just because of the deadline looming in a few days but because I have so many other books I can’t wait to write, both fiction and non. I’m already stocking up on batteries for my digital tape recorder and making arrangements for an assistant to transcribe my spoken words. I’m not even sure what’s next because I have so many projects running through my head, demanding my love and attention.
Writing. I’d call it my anti-drug, but it’s very much a drug, amplifying my senses exponentially. I think it’s the closest I’ll ever get to tantric sex.
I have it back now. I have it back! Something I’d lost in the past few years, thanks to baby-editors, changing market conditions, the push to write just what would be successful commercially, the resistance from all those around me.
This is the energy I put into just fighting to be myself. Now that I can just be—or the closer I come to it—this river of energy is being redirected to its natural channels.
Yeah. This is the way I like it.