Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree.
I might be on a roll here, and I might be a little stirred up from a long night of conversation with friends, but I had a thought.
I just finished reading my friend’s latest blog post about how her ex-husband came home from work one day and announced he’d gotten his ears pierced. Her comment was that any man secure enough to get his ears pierced goes a long way in her book. She rather liked the idea.
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Pet peeve #1 of society: If boys and girls don’t conform to socially accepted ideas about what it means to be a “real man” or a “real woman,” they’re damned.
But why?
Why is a man who cries showing weakness? In the past five years, I’ve seen some of the strongest men I know shed tears over circumstances that matter most. One man cried over his dying father. Was that weakness? Another man cried when his little girl wasn’t allowed to see him as often as he’d like. Is that weakness? I’d argue not. I’d argue that to feel deeply and to express those feelings is the ultimate expression of strength—of confidence—of security—of a man comfortable in his own skin.
Why is a woman who pursues what she wants being dubbed a “ball-breaker” or a “hard woman” or a “career woman without a family” as though it’s a curse word? In the last two years, I’ve learned that some of the strongest women I know are those who didn’t give up a single one of their dreams just because they had a man or a child. I’ve learned that we can be both a mother and have a career. We can be both a lover and a nurturer. We can be both tender and tough.
What I’ve discovered in my non-conformist way of living is that the people who are most comfortable with themselves—men or women—are those who simply ignore the social expectations and march to the beat of their own drum.
And my hat is off to them. Literally. Because there’s nothing strange about a man in a dilly hat. And there’s nothing wrong with a woman who goes up to a man and asks him to dance. And there’s nothing scandalous about people who are together regardless of social status or race or creed.
The world is full of non-conformists. We are in better company than we think.
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