I am The Poster Girl for Productivity, yet until this summer, I’ve felt that I wasn’t productive enough. I stressed myself so terribly much, too. I would finish a list of 200 things in a weekend and fall in bed exhausted on Sunday night and say aloud, “I didn’t get everything done that I planned–I’m such a failure!”
Maybe that comes from the way my dad used to tell me I wasn’t “fit for nothing” and the way my mom was always so busy, proving her value through never-ending jobs and responsibilities that were seldom rewarded. I don’t know. Unfortunately, it’s something I’ve passed along to my kids, who refer to the “P-word” with great disdain. Now I’m trying to undo it.
Rite of Awakening — Southern Gothic with bite, Book One of the Rites of Passage. Available direct from the author →
It occurred to me early this year that I routinely say “I don’t have time to—” or “I never have enough time.” This isn’t anything new. But I decided to do something about it because I am positive I have been saying this since I was 25 or younger, and if I felt I didn’t have enough time at 25, then surely I have less time now that I’m in my 40’s, right?
Yet I realized yesterday when I walked leisurely about my backyard and plopped into the hammock that I was suddenly, for the first time in my life, NOT in a rush. It was truly the oddest feeling! But while swinging in my hammock, I thought about the changes I’ve made this year and how those changes and insights have affected my idea of time–and no, I didn’t invent that time machine I’ve been requisitioning for 20 years so I could get everything done in one day’s time.
1. I made a conscious effort to stop saying “I don’t have enough time.” Why reinforce it?
2. I realized that I’ve already been living in a time-machine of my own making–extreme overproduction–for decades. Imagine that to get your work done, you climb into a time machine and go back and finish everything you left unfinished because there weren’t enough hours in the day. So you come back to the present and only 5 minutes have passed but your body’s aged 5 hours. You may manage to cram more stuff into one day, but you haven’t made time for life.
3. I railed against my religious upbringing and decided that enjoying my present here on Earth is not sloth, not a sin, and is–in my view–something Deity would revel in seeing me relish.
4. I stopped subscribing to the overload of blogs and podcasts on “how to be productive” or “how to manage your time” because productivitis seems to be a disease that needs to be fed with all these tools and techniques that need even more tools to manage them with.
A Southern witch returns home. Secrets won’t stay buried. A chance to confront and heal—or face the consequences.
Visit the Book Page →