Three of my favorite attendees — click for a larger view
Before you start your own spiritual circle, coven, study group, or any other type of gathering, I’ve hosted enough spiritual gatherings in my home now to have a pretty darned good idea of whom to expect in any group. I’m on my fifth circle now–people have come and gone from life and I’ve started and ended groups for different reasons.
My current Sunday night gathering is exactly as I like it–small, intimate, serious about the work, supportive, and just social enough that we have a wonderful eat-and-greet before the lesson begins. That’s specifically what I’ve attracted to me this time around. There are other gatherings available to me where I can mingle with 50 to 1000 people in an evening (or weekend) but it doesn’t have to be in my home on a Sunday evening before a workday. Oh, and did I mention that my gatherings are rather peaceful, relaxing events? Let’s just say, I learned from my past guests…
Rite of Awakening — Southern Gothic with bite, Book One of the Rites of Passage. Available direct from the author →
So before you begin your own gatherings, take heed:
1. The Drama Queen. Yeah, I know: every group has to have one, but my second circle had the drama queen of drama queens.
“Me: Okay, good question! The best angel to work with for protection is–
DQ: I know I should do protection rituals more often. This last week, I hurt myself really bad. Got burned. (rolls up on sleeve to display a huge red blister)
Me: Uh, wow…what happened? Did you spill something on the stove?
DQ: (rolling her sleeve up more) No, it was on purpose. I’m a cutter, too. See these scars?”
Now before you accuse me of trying to be humorous, every word of that is true. And for every time she showed up at a gathering, whatever her problems were, she got 100% of the group’s attention. By the way, this wasn’t a spoiled 18-year-old witchy wannabe. This was a 37-year-old mother of four.
Advice? Remove this person from your group or the gathering might as well be named for her or for her problem of the day.
2. The You-Can-Count-Me-but-You-Can’t-Count-on-Me. I’ve never charged a penny for anyone to attend my gatherings. I normally cook or at least have snacks because when they’re really exciting, they go on for quite a while. I used to make lots of lasagna or spaghetti for our initial eat-and-greet before settling down into what would sometimes last from 5 PM until 2 AM. For the fourth circle, a study group where we ate and then talked for hours, I had to plan both space and food considerations. I also had to get special permission from my neighborhood council to have a certain number of guests and make arrangements for parking so I didn’t upset my neighbors. I made some big changes after the first time I bought enough food for 25 attendees, spent days making arrangements, and then had only 3 people show up–after 25 had RSVP’d yes and confirmed yes the day before.
Advice? There are always good reasons someone might not make it after saying yes. Second chances are okay. After that, either stop inviting them or stop expecting them to show up.
3. The Don’t-Expect-Me-to-Make-an-Effort. This is the attendee who tells you how excited he is about your group and can’t wait to attend. Oh, yeah, but by the way, he doesn’t have a car or a way to the meeting. Would you mind terribly just coming over and picking him up?
Advice? Don’t offer to provide bus service. If participation in your group is important enough to them, they will find a way.
Coming up…Part Two.
A Southern witch returns home. Secrets won’t stay buried. A chance to confront and heal—or face the consequences.
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