The Biggest Fear of the Law of Attraction
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Contrast.
Shannonâ€™s experimentation Â with the Law of Attraction Â is Â yielding some Â amazing Â results. Â Very Â cool Â for Â a mom to watch. But her biggest concern thus far has been whether her desire to bring certain good things into her life might mean bringing something bad into othersâ€™ lives.
Personally, I blame â€œThe Monkeyâ€™s Paw.â€ The short story by W.W. Jacobs made quite an impression on me as a high school student. In the story, a man and his wife make three wishes on a talisman. The first, for money, is granted through the death of their son in a horrific accident. The second is to wish him back to life, and then when his crushed body is about to knock on their door, a third wish sends him back to the grave.
How many times have I heard new followers of the Law of Â Attraction wish for wealth but immediately express Â the Â fear Â that Â theyâ€™ll Â receive Â it Â through Â someone elseâ€™s death or misfortune, as if thatâ€™s the only way it can come to them? And does that fear pull ill effects to them?
As long as there have been stories of wishes coming
true, there Â have Â been Â stories Â of Â wishes Â going Â terribly wrong, with disastrous results. How often have we heard, â€œBe careful what you wish forâ€? I guess a story about asking for and receiving Â wonderful Â things just doesnâ€™t have the dramatic tension that makes for good fiction.
But for Shannon, who has always heard my Wiccan ethical yardstick of â€œHarm noneâ€ backed up by my Christian upbringing Â of â€œDo unto Â others as you would have them do unto you,â€ this was a real concern. For others, as well. Once she got to a place where sheâ€™d resolved her inner conflictâ€”or at least made a lot of progressâ€”things started happening.
A woman who is among the most spiritual people I knowâ€”I Â say Â spiritual Â because Â sheâ€™s Â not Â Christian, Â not Wiccan, and I really donâ€™t know what her belief system is and it really doesnâ€™t matterâ€”caveats everything with â€œfor the Highest Good.â€ She calls to her what she needs, attracts it to her, always with the caveat that it will be for the Â highest good and that her wishes will be fulfilled in such a way that will lift up others.
A rather bitter manâ€”whose story I donâ€™t know and donâ€™t really want to knowâ€”told me that of the people heâ€™s seen practice the Law of Attraction over a long period of time, theyâ€™ve all become corrupt and greedy. I myself have Â seen quite Â the opposite. Â I Â know Â several Â who have practiced for as long as Iâ€™ve known themâ€”some for
15 yearsâ€”with wonderful results. One woman in particular used to irritate the life out of me with her constant upbeat, Pollyanna attitude. Someone would ask each person in the group to talk about what was going on in our lives and thereâ€™d be lots of whining, tragedy, depression, health issues, job failures, upsets. In general, people used it as an opportunity Â to Â vent Â when Â they Â had Â nowhere Â else Â to unload. Not her. She would be the lone person to speak glowingly about her good health (sheâ€™s quite a bit my senior), stable marriage and very active sex life, wide circle of friends, Â fulfilling Â spirituality, Â and Â exciting Â career Â (sheâ€™s been a millionaire many times over since I met her). She is still the same way and one of the most generous people Iâ€™ve known. Life is really good for this Â woman and she doesnâ€™t spend the goodness expecting the other shoe to drop.
Thatâ€™s because she comes from a place of abundance, and that may Â sound Â simple, Â but itâ€™s a hard concept Â to grasp when youâ€™re raised in scarcity. I often have believed that for me to have what I want, someone else must do without or have less. If a book of mine sells well, then someoneâ€™s putting out money that might be better used for Â groceries. Â If Â I Â get Â a Â coveted Â book Â contract, Â then someone without a day job, someone who depends solely on royalties, Â might not be able to support Â herself. Â If a manÂ I like is dating me, thenÂ some Â clingy Â woman Â out there Â is lacking one less prospect Â and she really needs a man, Â not Â me. Â Sound Â ridiculous? Â Well, Â yeah. Â You Â can really take Â it to extremes Â or simply say Â that youÂ donâ€™t want your prosperity Â to be at the direct or indirect expense of others. Thatâ€™s scarcity.
Scarcity goes back to self-worth issues. Better for me to be the one doing without, not having what I want out of life, than for someone else, anyone else, to have less of an opportunity Â at the same things. Itâ€™s Â that feeling that anyone else deserves the good stuff more than I do instead of realizing that thereâ€™s plenty of the good stuff to go around. Scarcity also goes back to self-sacrifice, which has its place, I suppose, but why to the point of martyrdom? Yes, I know you have to strike a balance and not be a 100% taker in the give-and-take of life, but isnâ€™t martyrdom often the same thing as fixing it for other people?
Early in my writing career, I had a New York editor I didnâ€™t know Â very well and who had four or five of my manuscripts sitting unread on Â her desk, ones her predecessor had planned to buy. I had an Â opportunity Â to sit with her at a banquet for four hours and get to know her on a more personal level, but I gave up my seat to an unpublished author. Why? Two big-name authors had criticized the unpubbed author in an email loop and one accidentally (maybe?) replied back to the whole group, including the unpubbed, Â with the scathing criticism included. The unpubbed was devastated and figured sheâ€™d never be published. I knew that I, already published, could sit next to my editor and cement our relationship or I could give that opportunity to a woman considering quitting writing.
So the unpubbed Â sat next to my editor for four hours andâ€¦hated her instantly. She went on to get published at several other major houses and the last she spoke was to tell me how much she despised my editor and how much I should, too.
For me, Iâ€™d thought in terms of scarcity, that by sitting next to my editor and working on our professional relationship, I could probably sell her more books, get more contracts, Â make Â more Â money, Â transition Â to Â a Â full-time writing career. But that would prevent someone else from sitting next to her, talking up their books, getting Â contracts, making money. Only so much to go around! Instead, Â there Â were plenty Â of opportunities Â elsewhere Â for the person who did sit next to her. In hindsight, that was my one shot to get to know that editor better and I blew it because I was concerned that my good fortune might detract from someone elseâ€™s. I gave away my opportunity instead of going after my dream.
Why do we automatically temper our dreams with the expectation Â that Â only Â bad Â can Â come Â with Â the Â good? Somehow Â I Â donâ€™t Â think Â that Â the Â Universe Â or Â God Â or quantum physics or whatever is out there Â rubbing malicious hands together to come up with some dastardly way of fulfilling our wishes just to teach us that weâ€™ll never get the good stuff out of life, bwah-ahahahahahahahahaha!
Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but itâ€™s the biggest fear of the Law of Attraction.