Kicking It Up a Notch
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Below.
I am kicking life into a higher vibe.
Funny how that Tower Card from earlier this week helped to do that. My focus has never been clearer than it is right now, and Iâ€™m exactly sure of what I want in life and what I want out of life.
My dadâ€™s in the hospital again, so Iâ€™m waiting to see how that goes, but Iâ€™m calm right now. Itâ€™s interesting to see how heâ€™s manifested his current illness, which is terminal. Some of his medical issues werenâ€™t Â in his history before and weâ€™re not quite sure how he developed some of them, but over the years, heâ€™s imagined certain things, heâ€™s visualized Â them, Â heâ€™s Â pretended Â them Â (long, Â angry story there), Â heâ€™s Â patterned them…and now his doc says that heâ€™s suddenly as bad as he was pretending years ago.
If ever there was an example of negativity manifesting! Heâ€™s expected Â to be out of the hospital in time for Thanksgiving Day, though Iâ€™ll be with the girls that morning and theyâ€™ll be with their dad that afternoon and evening, and then sometime over the weekend, weâ€™ll make a quick trip to visit and spend a few hours with one or both of my brothers.
Historically, this is the time when various family and friends will ask personal questions about my love life, tell me what I should or shouldnâ€™t be doing, and proceed to tell me how they would do the opposite of whatever it is Iâ€™m doing and how all my choices are wrong Â but then, just our luck, everythingâ€™s gonna be bad anyway. It usually hits on Â the emotional meter somewhere Â between mildly depressing and majorly Â distressing, Â depending on which wounds they choose to rip open.
Shannon, who is incredibly wise about this at such a young age, has a good guideline for living: Never take ad- vice from Â unhappy people. Sheesh, does that not cover just about everything?
So this holiday season with family and friends, Iâ€™m anticipating a shift, with me stopping people in their tracks from saying any more. Iâ€™ve always heard teachers and religious people admonish children and teens, â€œIf you canâ€™t say something good about somebody, donâ€™t say anything at all.â€
If understand Â that sentiment Â in an entirely different way now. I realized this today when I was thinking about a cousin of mine who died of leukemia at my age and a woman I met through a writerâ€™s workshop.
Word spreadÂ fast about their illnesses Â and suddenly peopleÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â from their pasts came out of the woodwork to express their pre-death sympathy to the corpse. They all focused on Â the terminal illness, on what kind of funeral the sick person would like, on what kind of arrangements theyâ€™d made for their family after they died.
Iâ€™ve seen the same happen with many family, friends, and colleagues Â whoâ€™ve been diagnosed with terminal ill- nesses. Iâ€™ve heard doctors tell their patients they had two weeks to live…and the patients died two weeks to the day. Iâ€™ve heard other doctors say â€œno more than two years,â€ and those people lived another ten and died of something other than their illness, but it was incredibly difficult for them. Even ones whoâ€™ve Â tried Â so Â hard to stay positive and believe they could beat their illness have found doubt around every corner, from their doctorâ€™s receptionist Â to their pastors to their children. Â Everyone Â around them is focused on their dying and how soon theyâ€™ll go through the grieving process and hurry up and â€œacceptâ€ it. Damn, we send people to counseling so they can learn to accept their illness and subsequentÂ deaths as smoothly as possible.
The other woman Iâ€™m thinking of today believed she would Â be Â healed. Â She stayed Â positive. Â She stayed Â away from Â naysayersÂ Â and Â â€œsupportiveâ€ Â friends Â preoccupied with her death. She focused on living and loving and enjoying her life. She showed me pictures of her skydiving adventures and talked about how her visualization techniques, Â meditation, Â stress reduction, Â and sense of peace assisted her docâ€”who Â share her optimism Â for lifeâ€”in returning her to health. She was still under her physicianâ€™s care but her positive attitude never sent a message to her physical self to give up or that sheâ€™d run a â€œvaliant raceâ€ but still Â lose. Â The mind is so important Â in healing! She was still active when last I saw her, in her late 70â€™s, still joyful and full of life.
I Â vaguelyÂ Â rememberÂ Â beingÂ Â 7 Â yearsÂ Â old Â and Â my motherâ€™s mother coming home from a chemo treatment only to be handed a catalog of tombstones Â to pick from so she could have â€œthe best money can buy.â€ It was well- meant by those around her, but wow, what an incentive that must have been for her.
For myself, I can remember Â plenty of times when I knew something was about to happen and was so excited, only to be stopped on my way out the door and told how bad things would probably be. I lost my positive frame of mind and lost the opportunity. Â If only those people had not said anything bad about something, I wouldnâ€™tÂ have lost my already shaky faith in my intuition.
But thatâ€™s all in the past. Iâ€™m alone more these daysâ€” not for Â longâ€”but Iâ€™m in a much better frame of mind because Iâ€™m not Â constantly sandblasted by all the possibilities of how wrong things are going to go.
Some fascinating Â things are happening Â right now in
my life and Iâ€™d love to experiment with this new vibration with my family Â and friends, but for the most part, that would Â take Â a Â lot Â of Â energy Â to Â convince Â them Â to Â play along. So for now, Iâ€™m pulling in my two daughters Â and the three of us are working together to keep a high level of joy and love in our home and make some wonderful things happen for us.