The Law of Attraction and Its Backlash
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Below.
The more consciously Iâ€™ve been using the Law of At- traction in the past few years, the more Iâ€™ve found my circle of friends and colleagues changing. Itâ€™s a little disturbing at times. Of course, as I become more Â positive and more focused, Iâ€™m attracting more of that kind of person to me whereas those who insist that the future is horrible are starting to disappear.
So if the Law of Attraction Â brings to you what you
most want and what is most like the vibration (for lack of a better word) that you yourself put out to the Universe, what happens if itâ€™s not like attracting like? Is there a Law of â€¦Repelling? Or is this just a backlash?
Iâ€™m definitely Â getting Â a backlash Â from Â a colleague Â I met a little Â over Â a year ago. She was always very happy and supportive, Â or Â seemed Â to Â be. Â But Â something Â happened a year ago in her life that turned her Â into a profoundly negative person. After that, she was forever finding fault with me. Little things. Meaningless Â things. Differences in Â interpretation Â that Â really Â didnâ€™t Â matter. Â She would always ask if Iâ€™d done something as part of my job and why didnâ€™t I do it a different way, even though it wasnâ€™t her job. Almost every time, the way she wanted me to do Â itÂ was Â a way Â Iâ€™d Â already Â attempted Â and had Â found wouldnâ€™t work or Iâ€™d gone with a better way after much effort and research that she didnâ€™t know about. But, being a good bit older than I am and very new to the career field, she began to question and find fault with every decision I made without understanding Â the basis for it or ignoring that I had years more experience with it than she did.
Very quickly in our professional relationship, I began
to avoid her. Every time I was anywhere near the woman, I felt bad. I just feltâ€¦bad. There was no pleasing her, and for reasons I wonâ€™t go into, it wasnâ€™t prudent to sever the relationship or tell her to eff-off.
But what I could do was keep my distance.
So with the holidays approaching, sheâ€™s been trying to spend more Â time with me and sheâ€™s upset because Iâ€™ve been Â distant. Â I Â hadnâ€™tÂ Â realized Â it, Â really. Â Just Â a Â self- protective mechanism.
â€œWhy donâ€™t you ever just call me or send me a note?â€
she asks. Â And Â not Â only Â asks, Â but Â asks Â repeatedly. Â Sheâ€™s genuinely hurt that I donâ€™t respond to her in the way she wants Â and Â sheâ€™s Â exceptionally Â hurt Â if Â I Â try Â to Â explain whatâ€™s wrong. She tells me sheâ€™s not a negative Â person butâ€¦and then lists whateverâ€™s Â wrong with anything and everything. Â Then Â she Â asks Â again, â€œWhy Â donâ€™t Â you Â ever take the initiative to drop by and see me for a couple of hours?â€
The answerâ€™s Â simple. She never says anything good. Ever. From Â the Â word â€œhello,â€ I feel my defenses going up. Maybe if she ever, in any of our conversations, said anything good or positive, other than what sheâ€™s done for everyone else, Iâ€™d enjoy talking with her. But I just canâ€™t right now. Sheâ€™s toxic, and thereâ€™s not much I can do ex- cept keep my distance.
Something Â similar had started with another colleague whoâ€™s been a friend for several years, though she moved a while back. Â She was having a hard time in her new career and romantic life, Â and every time we talked, Â I ended the conversation Â feeling very Â downâ€”not Â just Â about Â her situation but about mine as well. Iâ€™d almost stopped talk- ing with her Â or answering her messages Â because of the constant negatives. Â The same Â situation Â was playing out with another friend, too, on the West Coast.
I decided that I wanted to try to keep these two relationships, so I stressed to both women that I was actively practicingÂ positive Â thinkingÂ andÂ would Â appreciate Â their support in helping me maintain a positive focus without all Â the Â concentration Â on Â what-ifs Â and Â why-nots. Â Both women recoiled at the suggestion. They were only trying to protect me, they both said. Did I not realize how dubious both career and romantic efforts could be? I do realize that at least one of them is coming at this from a place of love and not superiority and power plays, but Iâ€™ve still had to stress to both not to dump their own doubts on me. So far, theyâ€™ve told me theyâ€™re supportive and wonâ€™t inundate me with their own fears and doubts but in the next sentence, theyâ€™ve done exactly that, in the Â name of explaining their experiences with life and what they believe is most likely lying in wait for me.
Whether theyâ€™ll accept my new focus or Iâ€™ll end up at a distance, Â only time will tell. But no one ever tells you how many Â people Â will fall Â by theÂ wayside Â of your Â life when Â you Â begin Â practicing Â the Â Law Â of Â Attraction Â in a conscious Â sense. I guess itâ€™s a natural backlash Â from the Universal Laws to get you from an old state of being to a new one, but Â the Â good stuff will remain a part of your life.