Revealing Conversations and Submissive Men
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
Blame it on the moon in Scorpio, but I had a rather enlightening conversation Â yesterday Â with Â an Â old Â friend who recently confessed that Â heâ€™s a submissive Â and has been living the life of his choice for the past decade. Iâ€™ll disguise his description Â and his words, since few people would ever guessâ€¦.
Heâ€™s a professional, great looking, father of three, late 40â€™s. Second marriage. Easy going. Charismatic. By most peopleâ€™s standards, the definition of success. But all that matters to him is how she sees him. Okay, maybe not all that matters. But itâ€™s a layer of freedom and love that he says makes life worth living for him. Something he never had with any of the women in his life before he met her.
I am learning things about myself through this conversation Â as Â he Â describes Â the Â woman Â who Â calls Â him â€œhers.â€ Iâ€™m learning that this world of nurturing and freedom is one Iâ€™d like to create for the right man. Not this man, but the right man for me.
As for this man, this old friend I havenâ€™t talked to in years, he gets that far-off dreamy look in his eyes when he says her name, even after a decade with her.
Quoting him as best I can:
â€œI want to be the boss, the badass, until she walks into the room. Where she can have me on my knees with just her voice and a slight gesture. She dominates without be ing domineering. She stays in control without being con- trolling. She stays calm and is always considerate. Sheâ€™s a lady and cherishes Â me. But why shouldnâ€™t Â she? Iâ€™m her most Â prized possession. Â She creates a warm cocoon of absolute power and love. She protects and terrifies me at the same time. She knows me better than I know myself. She knows how badly I screw up, but she frees me of my sins by punishing Â me, then forgiving Â me and loving me. She completely understands that in order to have my surrender, she must create the environment I want to live in both emotionally and physically. Â For an hour or for the rest of my life, she is my mistress, my love, my world. By taking away my freedom, she lets me soar to be anything and everything Â I want because I have her to ground me and keep me from harm. She gives me both freedom and security at the same time, and through her, I can be more than I could ever be alone.â€
His words leave me stunned. They give form to feelings Iâ€™ve not been able to get a fix on. Iâ€™d always thought the kind of woman Â heâ€™s Â talkingÂ about would be domineering, without a hint of nurturing and certainly not interested Â in creating Â world of emotional Â satisfaction Â for anyone but herself. Iâ€™ve seen plenty of that in my life and have been disgusted at the insinuation that I might be the same. But nurturing and loving and dominant?
I like this revelation. A lot.