Revealing Conversations and Submissive Men

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.

Blame it on the moon in Scorpio, but I had a rather enlightening conversation  yesterday  with  an  old  friend who recently confessed that  he’s a submissive  and has been living the life of his choice for the past decade. I’ll disguise his description  and his words, since few people would ever guess….

Life Coaching TipsHe’s a professional, great looking, father of three, late 40’s. Second marriage. Easy going. Charismatic. By most people’s standards, the definition of success. But all that matters to him is how she sees him. Okay, maybe not all that matters. But it’s a layer of freedom and love that he says makes life worth living for him. Something he never had with any of the women in his life before he met her.

I am learning things about myself through this conversation  as  he  describes  the  woman  who  calls  him “hers.” I’m learning that this world of nurturing and freedom is one I’d like to create for the right man. Not this man, but the right man for me.

As for this man, this old friend I haven’t talked to in years, he gets that far-off dreamy look in his eyes when he says her name, even after a decade with her.

Quoting him as best I can:

“I want to be the boss, the badass, until she walks into the room. Where she can have me on my knees with just her voice and a slight gesture. She dominates without be ing domineering. She stays in control without being con- trolling. She stays calm and is always considerate. She’s a lady and cherishes  me. But why shouldn’t  she? I’m her most  prized possession.  She creates a warm cocoon of absolute power and love. She protects and terrifies me at the same time. She knows me better than I know myself. She knows how badly I screw up, but she frees me of my sins by punishing  me, then forgiving  me and loving me. She completely understands that in order to have my surrender, she must create the environment I want to live in both emotionally and physically.  For an hour or for the rest of my life, she is my mistress, my love, my world. By taking away my freedom, she lets me soar to be anything and everything  I want because I have her to ground me and keep me from harm. She gives me both freedom and security at the same time, and through her, I can be more than I could ever be alone.”

His words leave me stunned. They give form to feelings I’ve not been able to get a fix on. I’d always thought the kind of woman  he’s  talking  about would be domineering, without a hint of nurturing and certainly not interested  in creating  world of emotional  satisfaction  for anyone but herself. I’ve seen plenty of that in my life and have been disgusted at the insinuation that I might be the same. But nurturing and loving and dominant?

I like this revelation. A lot.