Picky and All the Better for It
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
Iâ€™ve been called picky quite a bit in the past few years, mostly in regard to date-able men and my interpretation of Â the Â term Â date-able, but Â Iâ€™ve Â been Â picky Â also Â when Â it comes to the commitment Â of taking on students. Which is why I donâ€™t have a boyfriend or a student right now.
My Sunday Night Gatherings and spiritual road-trips have been the most beneficial Â over the past two years. For the moment, it seems to work better for me to work with othersâ€”sharing, learning, and teachingâ€”rather than concentrating Â mostly on teaching. I Â like the idea of students but in choosing my students, Iâ€™m also choosing my next teachers. And even though I didnâ€™t commit to any of these students, they taught me plenty.
The students Â were downright Â scary. I didnâ€™t hang a shingle. They all sought me out, even before my last elevation.
The one thing they all had in common was that they wanted me to teach them and pass power to them and make Â them Â into Â High Priests Â and Priestesses, Â but they wanted to call the shots. And they didnâ€™t want to do the work. Â And Â becoming Â a Â High Â Priest Â or Â Priestess Â is Â all about doing the work.
Potential student #1 informed Â me that she knew via her psychic gift that I was to teach her and that Iâ€™d be the one to conduct her Â Initiation Â and sheâ€™d be my first student. However, meeting at my house for a Sunday Night Gathering once a week or even every other week was too much for her busy schedule. Â Huh? Â I was working Â 100 hours Â a Â week Â between Â my Â day Â job Â and Â my Â writing/ publishing career and she occasionally did PTA meetings? But she Â explained Â that Â I really Â needed to Â change Â it to once a month and any more than that was impossible for her schedule. And did she really have to do the exercise
to come up with a magickal name? Maybe if I could give her enough good reasons, sheâ€™d consider it. And could I do a ritual for something for her when we did meet? And did I think it would really take several years for her to get her Third Degree? (Topping from the bottom has applications to spiritual circles as well, I suppose.)
Potential student #2 was timid and eager to learn but
needed her atheist husbandâ€™s permission for me to teach her. Could I just meet her on my lunch hour a couple of times a week instead? (I didnâ€™t pass her husbandâ€™s inspection, by the way, even dressed in a suit. The pope wouldnâ€™t have passed inspection Â either, if the pope had been teaching anything other than atheism.)
Potential student #3 wanted to be my equal in everything even though she was new to Wicca. Perhaps I could call her High Â Priestess and just forgo the training since she was already so skilled at clairvoyance? (obviously not skilled enough)
Potential student #4 wanted to learn because learning is, Â um, Â important,Â Â especiallyÂ Â if Â you Â think Â your Â High Priestess is rich Â because she has a Government job and might lend you some money and not really expect you to pay it back because she doesnâ€™t take money for teaching and Â sheâ€™s Â nice Â and Â gee, Â itâ€™s Â nice Â to Â have Â friends Â with money Â and besides, a High Priestess can be responsible for you and give you Â lots Â of attention…. (I already have two children.)
Potential Â studentÂ Â #5, Â while Â in Â a Â circle Â Iâ€™d Â cast, abruptly invoked a Death Goddess to take care of a co- worker she hated! I Â never Â agreed to teach her but I did start her off on some nice literature Â and meditations Â to help bring out the Goddess in her and soften her. Â She didnâ€™t have time to read anything, she told me. Â Couldnâ€™t I just tell her my secrets and be done with it? Â Like money spells?Â Â Â Â Â And love spells?Â Â And Â how to get revenge?Â (It didnâ€™t help that she tried to manipulate me every chance
she got to make me think she had dibs on The Treat and could deliver Â him to me if Iâ€™d just teach her what she wanted to know.)
Potential student #6 was very sweet but only wanted to be my student because his girlfriend was in my Sunday Night circle. Once they married and he could see her any- time, he lost interest. (And so did she.)
Potential student #7 called out of the blueâ€”on my daytime minutes, thanks to Student #1 giving her my private numberâ€”wanting me to teach her and demanding I Initiate her ASAP because she was Â â€œready.â€ I suggested we get to know each other better so we could see if we were a good fit and after several months, weâ€™d see if she and I were interested in a student/teacher Â relationship. Â I suggested Â she Â come Â to Â a Â couple Â of Â my Â Sunday Â Night Gatherings because we were doing some incredible work together with unified Â field theory, Â crystal Â healings, Â and chakras. Â She Â dismissed Â my Â suggestion, Â saying Â that Â she could go to gatherings anytime, anywhere, and she probably already knew all that Â stuff I might teach there. No, she wanted to be Initiated now. And she needed to make sure I would never allow men into my group (already un- true) because she wanted to be in a woman-only Â circle. She needed to know at the end of that hour-long phone conversation if Iâ€™d Initiate her or not…or she might have to find someone else. Why couldnâ€™t I give her answer on the spot? (I did.)
The list Â goes Â on Â of Â potential Â students Â whoâ€™ve Â approached Â me Â over Â the Â past Â 3 Â years. Â None Â have Â felt â€œright.â€ In some cases, there was nothingÂ â€œwrongâ€ Â with the student but it just didnâ€™t feel right and I followed my intuition. Some dropped out a few months after convincing someone else to take them in. Others hit the equivalent of Second Â Degree Â Hell and are still there. Â Others have bounced Â around among Â several Â different Â religions and continue to bounce.
By last December, I got the feeling that I wonâ€™t have a circle in this location. Maybe wherever I live next. These were all tests, so Iâ€™d know who not to teach and not to feel compelled Â to take on a student Â I Â wasnâ€™t Â meant Â to teach just to be nice (the curse of a Southern woman). Thatâ€™s okay. Iâ€™ll wait.