Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
“Have you noticed,” AngelSu asks me, “that your inner chatter has stopped?”
I would have been shocked at her observation, except that I’d had the same epiphany earlier in the day. With this new sense of calm comes a lessening of the “voices.” Not “voices” exactly. For people who aren’t intuitive or aren’t sensitive, the idea of “voices” or “noise” or “chatter” is scary, straight-jacket stuff. I’ve read that it’s very common among people with ADHD, among us INFJ types, among writers and artists and musicians and other people with very active and creative minds. There’s always something going on in the background. Always ideas bubbling up to the surface, even when we’re focused on something else. It’s like having several TVs on different channels at once—we may be intent on one particular store but if the newscaster on the TV behind us says something interesting, we either vaguely register it or we swivel our attention to the newest distraction. So “voices” are really more just ideas surfacing or energetic connections popping in to say hello.
“Chatter” is a good description. It’s not like a distinct voice—just a cacophony of energy signals coming through to me, the human antennae. Sometimes it interferes with my sleep. It’s most prevalent when I’m highly attuned spiritually and messages are trying to come through but can’t seem to find the right frequency and I can’t understand them clearly.
I didn’t notice how quiet my mind had gotten until things got briefly “chattery” in a meditation. I addressed the chatter, things quieted, and then I realized I hadn’t heard it in several weeks, with the exception of the insistence that I get a letter in the mail on a certain day before its recipient left the address. Otherwise, my sense of contentment with myself—with minor bursts of emotions to work through—has been pleasantly quiet.
“You’re getting a serene essence more than ever before,” AngelSu says.
Definitely. The chatter isn’t the same as my intuition, but there’s a relationship. The intuition seems very clear, distinct. It’s like when my boss comes to my door and says, “Here’s an emergency about to hit, one that you need to tend to now.” The chatter is more like when the new supervisor on the other side of my wall has a female guest or two in his office and I can hear most of the words, the laughter, the yelling, the constant hum of discussion with occasional details about things I really don’t want to hear about.
“When things get chattery,” AngelSu suggests, “look to the core issue. The chatter is a healing opportunity.”
In reflection, I know she’s right in her assessment of my inner chatter. I think the more content, more serene state I’m feeling (with exceptions due to the fiscal year- end stress!) is because I’ve addressed so many of those healing opportunities.
My “channels” are getting clearer now, my connections stronger. Yesterday morning, in a 10-minute meditation, I distinctly felt a connection with someone and heard his thoughts. Yeah. Definitely a shock. I wasn’t reaching out—he just popped into my mind. He was very focused on me, reaching out to me either consciously or subconsciously, wondering what I was up to and smiling about it. My mind was clear, for a change. The reception was sharp, and I heard and felt him very clearly.
Without the chatter causing me to tune out or question.
Sometimes I think my brain is just one giant radio— sometimes a rocking good song, sometimes static, and sometimes messages from my sponsor!