Faith in the Future You Cannot See
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Tilt.
While in Daytona, I meet up with a High Priestess friend I haven’t seen in ages. We have a long-standing tradition of reading cards for each other whenever we do get together in the physical realm, even though I’ve never considered myself any good at it and she’s quite the ex- pert, especially with Kabbalah-based cards. But it’s yet another eye opener in a week full of epiphanies, and it’s only Friday.
She “lays cards” for me, three times, for three situations I want to look at and mull over. I’m fascinated by the choice of spreads she uses. Her style reminds me of AngelSu’s and her intuition yields very similar results about some situations she knows virtually nothing about except from my question.
The main thing I’m confused about is the disconnect between what a private, online writers’ group has been discussing concerning the publishing industry and especially the future of paranormal fiction. They’ve been com- paring royalty statements with increasing ardor for nearly a year, and they’ve seen some upsets with their publishers, one in particular. They are angry, hopeless, and with- holding, no longer sending material to their publishers, rebelling and instead taking jobs at McDonald’s but at least feeling in control somehow of their futures.
And yet, here at this conference in Daytona, I’m not seeing anything to support their declarations. I’ve turned my back on paranormal fiction because of so much I’ve heard from them, and yet here, it’s all vampires, were- wolves, witches, and demons. Not just selling but selling well. It’s the “next big thing.”
So my question is about which of so many sudden opportunities to follow. It’s like a hallway with many doors, all of them opening at once.
“There’s a man coming into your future,” the High Priestess says. Even though the question is specifically about me, about my future and what area of work I’m to focus on. It’s not about a man—surprise!
“Or maybe he’s coming back into your future,” she continues. “There’s a past connection to him. You’ve met him before. Not a husband or boyfriend, though. You’re going to run into him again, and it’s a relationship that will open up in the future for you.”
She goes on to describe this man…the color of his hair and eyes, his physique, his good looks, his approximate age. Well, hey, thank the Gods. He’s sexy and fabulous. Too bad she doesn’t draw because I’d love to see a picture of the guy she describes…kind of a wanted poster, maybe? “There is a great discord with him now. His focus is too much on his work and he’s put aside his creative outlets in favor of toil and building his financial fortune.”
She notices me as I wince. Someone that focused on money doesn’t appeal to me.
“It’s not about the money itself. It’s about security. His mother’s given him a great gift and a great curse,” she says. “Because of her, he plans everything. Every detail. He has to. He has to have a blueprint for the future to make sure he’s built the right foundation.” She pauses and looks into my eyes. “He has no faith in a future he cannot see, so he must plan it carefully to make it happen.”
I realize I’ve had no faith in a future where all my dreams come true and I spend my life doing the work I yearn to do, all of it and all kinds of it, rather than having to choose which small part of my activities will put the roof over my head. I can see it in the distance, often like a mirage, but I don’t know how to get from here to there.
The next cards show me a Princess of Wands, a 10 of Wands, a 7 of Cups, more.
“It’s already manifesting,” she tells me. “You have your dream of the life you want. It’s very clearly in your mind. You just have to take a few steps to bring the manifestation from the mental and spiritual into the physical.”
The next step shows me building a “body of work,” taking the blueprints I’ve already made and building creations and a life I will utterly adore. Plain and simple, it’s hard work and planning and not sitting idly by.
That doesn’t mean my dreams will come true over night, but sometimes the best way to make magick is through hard work and persistence, even when all you’ve done to date has been hard work and persistence.
This is obviously no time to stop. I’ll rest when I get there.