3 Keys to Not Giving Away Your Power to Spiritual Advisors
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Far too often, spiritual people give their power away.Â I had not considered the depth of this habit until Obiwan sent me an article a few days ago about how people give away their power to psychics specifically and others in general.Â It almost seemed strange coming from the person who is my personal coach, helping to keep me motivated and on course so that I can accomplish what I want, but because it’s a guiding relationship rather than a power-exchange, I shouldn’t be surprised at all.
Giving away your power is common throughout our culture, regardless of the individual’s spirituality.Â That’s easy enough to see when I look atÂ female friends who give up their dreams to please a husband or boyfriend or father.Â And yes, I’ve been there, too, narrowing a wide range of choices to just one person’s–and that person not being me.
But giving away power really IS more pervasive for spiritual people.Â There’s another whole layer of people to give away power to, besides the usual friends, family, co-workers, and bosses in a non-spiritual person’s life.
Spiritual people often turn their decisions over to their pastors, high priestesses, ministers, elders, and other spiritual leaders, including friends and family who are more “advanced” onÂ a spiritual path.Â They consult spiritual coaches, psychics, and teachers.Â They come to rely on information from elsewhere rather than from within.
I’ve been in those situationsÂ myself.Â It took some hard knocks, but I learned to trust my own intuition and instincts.Â That doesn’t mean I stopped seeking guidance from others–not at all.Â I often hear things that I wouldn’t have encountered without a little help, but (Key #1) I know now how to ask myself if that guidance feels right instead of just taking it.
I can recall various teachers,Â coaches,Â and friends who, in their capacity as spiritual leaders, gave me well-meaning advice that just didn’t feel right in the gut.Â I’ve had them tell me that my balking was just that I didn’t want to hear the truth and that I’d better check my ego because they were right about what they saw as the truth.Â But for me, it didn’t feel like truth, and though it took a while to validate on my own, it wasn’t the truth.Â What they advised was based on their own filters.Â Sometimes I gave away my power by trying to live by their advice, and sometimes I rejected it flatly and took back my power and made my own way without them, in the end learning so much more than I ever would have if I’d followed their course.
I’ve had psychic friends (I have MANY) tell me things that were so off-base that I couldn’t stop laughing, others tell me things I knew in my heart to be true, and still others tell me what they foresaw and I made damned sure it didn’t happen that way by taking action when I wanted to rather than according to their plan.
I’ve discovered that an advisor relationship based on guidance rather than power will provide an advisorÂ who knows and encourages you to change what you don’t want and take action when you feel you need to (Key #2).Â My own coach does that–so did Yoda, but some previousÂ advisors have not and I let them keep me in turmoil–and thoughÂ Obiwan helps me figure out what and how to get things done each month and continue to grow spiritually all the while,Â she does not insist that I do things the way she thinks I should or act disappointed or angry if I don’t.Â She always encourages me to change the things I don’t like and create a better future for myself, and I leave our sessions feeling empowered about my future (Key #3).
I’ve had spiritual people I’ve sought guidance from tell me what I didn’t want to hear, yes, but I’ve felt the truth of it in my third chakra and knew it was time to admit what I already knew.Â Spiritual guidance should be either an epiphany or a confirmation, but it should feel like, yes, that’s true somewhere deep inside.Â Â And regardless of advice that is true guidance to me, even if the epiphanies are about awful things, I still walk away feeling that the future is brighter than yesterday.