Let’s talk about my personal experience with illegal orders. You know, since everyone in my social media feeds is suddenly an expert on what they are and aren’t or how they think THEY would react. I never wore a uniform, but I supported the U.S. military for 31 years, and as a civilian employee with a Contracting Officer’s authority to bind the U.S. government, there were multiple times I was outright told to do something illegal and more times I was pressured to by people who wanted me to take the hint without them taking responsibility for demanding that I comply. By people who absolutely knew better. Under all administrations I worked for. Usually not by someone wearing a uniform.
And I don’t mean “gently urged.” I mean “pressured” as in threatening to fire me or trying to emotionally manipulate me by suggesting my entire organization and later my entire air force base would be shut down if I didn’t sign a contract that was blatantly illegal.
It’s not something from my “wild imagination” or even that extraordinary. It DOES happen. Most people don’t talk about it, but I sure will! And maybe it happened more to me—or not? I don’t know—because I was always an outside-the-box-thinker and people just assumed I’d cross a line that a more conservative interpreter of the regulations wouldn’t. I do know I argued with other people in my job and in my chain of command who signed things that “Renegade Lorna” wouldn’t because 1. They wanted a promotion, 2. They were afraid they’d lose their job or be relegated to a bad assignment as punishment, 3. They wanted the bosses to like them, 4. Everybody else was doing it (saying it wouldn’t hurt anything and who’d know).
I stopped counting after the first two times this happened to me because my grit was set by then. I’ve talked here before about my genius baby lieutenant who stood with me against 30 much more experienced and higher ranking technical experts and contracting bosses trying to paper over what amounted to extortion. Basically, a powerful person in the Government tried for several years to force my organization to give that powerful person a study contract using our funds set aside for small businesses and everyone was scared to death that this Important Arse would recommend we be shut down (he DID have the power) if we didn’t award the contract to him. TOTAL conflict of interest! He tried through the Small Business Innovation Research program, a Broad Agency Announcement, and then another way but every time, I kept coming up as the Contracting Officer and it was the same sucky proposal for 20-year-old technology with a different title and cover page. My weasel-y lieutenant colonel who was supposed to be my top cover told me he couldn’t keep telling the bosses no, because it would affect his performance evaluation, and I told him that regardless of what he told his raters, the illegality of what I was asked to do hadn’t changed. He promised we’d address it again at MY appraisal and with whether I still had a job. Other than a 22-year-old lieutenant with a PhD from CalTech who didn’t see doing the right thing as a problem for his career, I was totally alone in refusing to do something illegal, with the exception of one other powerful ally: Legal.
The same with the first time I was ordered to do something blatantly illegal a couple of years before.
I had been a lowly GS-12 Contracting Officer of less than 5 years, hoping for a promotion and being told I was too young. My so-called top cover, a different lieutenant colonel, was laughably the wimpiest boss I’ve ever had. Nice guy, no balls. And yes, by contrast, this is exactly why I appreciated the bosses who got between me and anyone who would throw me under the bus for doing my job.
That first time, the Commander (technical, not contracting) had directed his favorite contractor to work under an existing contract (non-competitive additional work) that was totally unrelated to the work he wanted done. Then he tried to cover it up and pretend they weren’t already working on a promise of payment. I gave him 8 different legal ways to get what he needed, quickly, and he just pressed harder—because he’d done everything under the table and had to figure out a way to pay these guys. When that kind of pressure didn’t work, my lieutenant colonel, who later became the inspiration for a character in my novel known as the Gutless Wonder, tried emotional manipulation. My friends would lose their jobs, he said. Over 400 people I worked with would be laid off. Probably the whole base would close. The economy of the local towns would fall. All because I wouldn’t follow illegal instructions (not orders, as I wasn’t military). I asked why I hadn’t seen parades in the street for me. He said he didn’t want to order a military Contracting Officer to sign the contract and “leave him hanging out to dry.” I asked if he realized he said that out loud and thanked him for not caring about hanging ME out to dry. I was being told to “do your job or quit or be fired.”
I called BL, the head of the legal office, and left a message. I was desperate. When I’m terrified, I become outwardly stoic—it makes me good in an emergency—and people don’t understand that I’m terrified because I’m not a screamer and I don’t get hysterical in rough situations. But I was desperate and had no one to help me, even though I had plenty of colleagues who should have helped me instead of slinking away because they were afraid of the man who’d demanded I paper over his actions.
The pressure was intense. My husband and I had recently taken advantage of a good interest rate and bought a house that was bigger than we could afford without both our salaries. We had two small kids. I was scared.
I went home that night and, after the kids were in bed, told him I was worried we’d lose the house if I had to quit. Because I would (and as a civilian could) quit rather than do something illegal. We went over the budget, looked at our savings, at how long it would take me to find another job in our small town that paid enough, at whether we could borrow more money to bridge the gap or put groceries on credit cards, at when his next raise we’d expected to ease our cashflow would kick in. I went to bed with the sick feeling that there was no way we’d be able to keep the house we’d just bought. I felt I had to stand my ground and at the same time, I felt I was failing my family.
Because this is how it feels when you’re told by your bosses to do something illegal, and no one else stands up to them, and you are all alone, and no one will defend you because they’re scared, too, of the same people.
The next morning, after a sleepless night, I got to work with a plan to quit if I had to, but I had a message waiting from BL. He said, no, absolutely do NOT sign that contract because it’s not legal. He gave me a written legal opinion that day, and stood up for me and stood with me to make sure I wasn’t forced to do something that was so obviously wrong to everyone with any knowledge. For my contracting bosses who knew it was wrong, it was like a sigh of relief. They didn’t have to take responsibility for their actions because our legal counsel gave them the excuse they couldn’t take from me as a subordinate they could order around.
My government lawyers were my heroes every time something like this happened. They often played bad guy among all the “good guys” who rolled over on difficult subjects and were nothing but yes men. (I have never been able to respect yes men, you know.) They took the heat with me instead of my supervisors and chiefs. I was exceptionally lucky to have talented and responsive attorneys on my team for my entire career.
I tell this story now because I want you to understand just a little of what it’s like to be ordered/instructed/pressured to do something illegal when it comes to the military. Not even what it’s like to be told to take a life, but just random contract stuff. You don’t always know for sure something’s wonky and may have to do some research or ask legal counsel privately. Even if you know it’s not legal—whether or not the person demanding THINKS it is and just doesn’t know better or they don’t care—the pressure to not question it and just do as you’re told is immense. What if you get it wrong and you’re punished for asking questions? What if you get it right and you lose your means of feeding your family?
In February of this year, the senior Judge Advocate General leadership for Army, Navy, and Air Force were removed. The White House said this week that “all orders are legal.” Who’s going to advise military members about the legality of an order? I haven’t seen any news stories about current Judge Advocate General leadership agreeing with this assertion, but I’d be concerned, too. The hardest place to be when you’re trying to figure out the legality of something you’re told to do is in the trenches and being told to shut up and do as you’re told with no one to speak up for you or to advise you on what you’ll be held responsible for and what you’ll have to live with.
Before you tell me this is easy or simple or not a problem, tell me how YOU lived with the pressure when you faced this in the Department of Defense. Hypothetical moral courage isn’t the same thing as actually living it, so how about we give some grace to people in the trenches who need to ask questions?
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