Advice to Brides: How to Get a Man OUT of Bed

Advice to Brides

So many of my younger women friends are getting married for the first time, and quite a few of my female peers are getting married again, so I thought I’d offer a little “bridal advice” I was offered in my early 20’s.  It still holds true, but you should be prepared for the consequences.  And yes, this always works for both sexes.

According to the story, a new bride was frustrated by her inability to get her husband out of bed on weekends.  They both worked during the week, full-time, but planned Saturdays as a work day to catch up on chores around the house and Sunday as a day to enjoy the fruits of the week’s labors.  Unfortunately, her sleepyhead husband rarely rose on weekends until around 1:30 PM!

It didn’t stop there.   Weekdays could have been just as bad, but the new bride would set multiple alarm clocks and the beg and plead for him to wake and get ready for work so he wouldn’t lose his job.  He begrudgingly rose during the week only because he knew he’d be fired if he was frequently late for work.  The new bride was starting to resent becoming a nag when her partner was still being a kid and not taking his adult responsibilities.

Finally, she asked her mother-in-law for help and learned the secret of how the young husband was able, in his teen years, to leap out of bed every morning, including weekends.

“Take 6 marbles and put them in a Ziploc bag in the freezer,” her mother-in-law advised.  “If he doesn’t get up when the alarm clock goes off, take the bag out of the freezer and dump the marbles into bed with him.  No matter which way he moves on the mattress, the frozen marbles will roll and follow him until he gets out of bed.”

I first heard this advice to brides almost 30 years ago, and it still works today!


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