Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Passion to the Third Degree .

I’m fascinated by the way energies blend in couples and groups. I first noticed this about 20 years ago, when I was a new trainee in my career field. Different contractor teams would arrive for small, focused briefings about the technology we wanted to buy, and each group would have a specific “personality.”

The Long-Awaited Honest-to-God Secret to Being Happy

I noted this with different offices, too. Various groups of people, even with some interchangeable personnel, usually have a specific energy. Individually, it was different but once you had a group of several individuals together, the group was a separate entity or unit.

I’ve noticed that it’s the same with families, with churches and spiritual circles, with social groups. Individually, the personalities can be very different, but mesh all those energies together and normally outspoken people become quiet and compliant and in other cases, normally quiet people emerge as leaders.

The same is true of couples, whether long-term or on a first date. I can think of men whose energy combined with mine (non-sexually) and I felt quite subdued and oppressed. Others have had such an incredible exuberance that I felt my energy pulled forward to match theirs in giddy electricity. Others have been calm and soothing.

I’ve noted it, too, in the way I dress when I’m out with a new guy. Some men, I feel very much at home with in my Goddess jewelry and pewter cuffs. Others bring out a natural inclination for me to wear diamonds and sapphires. With others, I feel the pull toward business suits and pearls. Yes, those are all facets of me that seem emphasized when my energy blends with someone else’s, but as far as which energy leaves me feeling like my best self, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.