Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Passion to the Third Degree.
While flattened on the sofa, too sick to move and yet my mind was racing, I realized that I’ve had some significant changes in my chakras over the past 4 months. Funny that I’d be thinking about my energy centers when I have zip for energy.
My root (first) chakra has really opened/strengthened in a big way. I first noticed it after the first dominance play. I can’t explain it, really. It’s not exactly a sexual thing…or maybe it is and I’ll find out when the right guy comes along. But for the moment, I don’t recognize it in that way. I’m just very…aware…of my root chakra, which I don’t recall ever before.
My second, third, fifth, sixth, and seventh chakras are all going strong and seem to be open, too. That’s rare. I’m in a spot where I totally trust my intuition, where the meditations are yielding very interesting interpretations, where I feel quite expressive and creative.
The only chakra that seems… hmmm, not weak but more like closed or guarded… is my fourth chakra, my heart chakra. Like a huge rose blossom that just tightened down to a bud, still the same fierceness but very restrained right now.
That really bothers me. My heart chakra is the one that’s always been so open and strong, even through my divorce. Just always been that way.
A little over two years ago, I participated in an energy healing experiment where I was the experiment. With others, we’d opened their auras and could feel the rise of their chakras sometimes three or four feet above their bodies. With me, my chakras were several feet high but my heart chakra went through the ceiling. The energy practitioner waved her hand along my chakras until she reached the fourth one and she lifted her hand higher and higher, trying to feel where it stopped, but it didn’t stop within the room we were in. Observers were called to feel the rise of energy as well, and we all got a good laugh out of my “unbounded” sense of love.
So it bothers me now that my open heart is suddenly so closed, guarded, protected. I don’t like that it’s closed, and that it feels that no one seems to get past the little bars around my heart anymore. I’m not even certain when this happened, though I guess it was mid-February that I really noticed something had happened to it.
I am finally meeting some interesting men, and after having an open heart for so long, none of them seem to be able to touch it anymore. That makes me sad.
But maybe it will warm with the summertime.