What Really Scares Me
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Ebb and Flow.
Just when I thought I’d worked through my fears, I came up with a new one.
A long-time acquaintance of mine joyously described the mission that’s taken over her life. She’s been studying reiki and massage therapy to some degree for several years, but she’s recently jumped full-fledged into pursuit of learning everything she can.
What she has to say isn’t anything new to me, but it hits me in a new way when I hear it this time. She says that people in message therapy cry, scream, throw up…that when they are touched somewhere where something good or bad has happened in the past, it brings it all back. She says that emotions are stored not just in the brain, but throughout the body. And when someone is touched, the emotions come out with such great force.
Other than a quick hug or a professional handshake, it’s been well over two years, almost three, since I let a man touch me.
One day, it might happen again.
And that’s what really scares me.