Howâ€™s That Working for Ya? 10 Things at the New Moon
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Ebb and Flow.
â€œWrite down whatâ€™s working for you and get clear on whatâ€™s positive for you, then intensify it.â€
Thatâ€™s AngelSuâ€™s sudden suggestion as weâ€™re chatting onÂ a Dark Â Moon Â night. Â Only Â a few Â hours Â before, Â Iâ€™d complained about how many good habits Iâ€™d let drop in the past month to make room for mundane and unloved work and how I plan to put those good habits back into practice when Â I return Â home Â from Â my Â trip Â to Â Central Florida. Her suggestion is the other side of the coinâ€”not what isnâ€™t working but what is.
Itâ€™s a good enough suggestion Â that I think I should incorporateÂ Â itÂ Â into Â every Â monthâ€™s Â Dark Â Moon/New Moon spiritual work. To look at what IS working and let it grow stronger as the moon continues through her cycle, intensifying by the full moon and leveling off into regular practice.
Ten of the things Iâ€™m noticing that ARE working for me in this past month, but by no means allâ€¦.
1. Making eye contact. Unless Iâ€™m really wrapped up in my own thoughts at the moment, I try now in public to make eye contact with the people I pass. Every last one of them. Sometimes, Â with men, it feels a little predatory, but itâ€™s new territory thatâ€™s intriguing in the responses I get. I feel like for the first time Iâ€™m actually actively sending a bit of Â myself out there into the world insteadÂ of pulling the energies in to me. Like Iâ€™m not quite as self- contained.
2. Iâ€™m becoming Â more comfortable Â with how I look, body Â image, Â etc. Â (yes, Â in spite Â of gaining Â some Â weight back this month and being off my regimen terribly)
Part of that sense of comfort has to do with taking more Â pictures Â of Â myself Â (clothed, Â thanks) Â and Â playing with them artistically. Iâ€™m not Â focusing on perfection or emulating a â€œMaxim girl,â€ etc. If anything, the pics arenâ€™t necessarily Â flattering, Â but Â Iâ€™m Â finding Â something Â about them that I like.
Iâ€™ve also seen some recent artwork and photography by several Â self-described Â (accurately) Â exhibitionists. Â For everything Â that Â HollywoodÂ Â and Â airbrushed Â magazines have done for womenâ€™s view of perfection Â and Â the universal failure Â of any Â female Â to achieve Â ridiculous Â standards that have 20-year-olds routinely seeking out surgical alterations as pre-requisites for minor league beauty pageants, well, Â thank Â goodness Â thereâ€™s Â good Â old-fashioned exhibitionism on the Â Internet Â to show skin with flaws, blemishes,Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â scars,Â stretchÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â marks, discolorations, and unique markings that make the inhabitant of that skin less plastic than a Barbie.
Iâ€™ve had the chance to see some other things, up close and Â personal, Â that Â surprised Â me, Â too. Â One Â of Â my Â colleagues recently returned to work after about 15K in surgery, most of it between her collarbone Â and Â her pubic bone. We were Â changing Â clothes in the Â bathroom Â and talking about her extensive surgery and how happy she is with it. She wanted to show me. A few moments before, sheâ€™d been in the worldâ€™s cutest little outfit and looked so sexy Â and Â adorable. Â I Â tried Â not Â to Â show Â it Â when Â she stripped, but I was horrified. Â Yes, with clothes on, Â she looked great, and I was envious of her figure. Without the clothes, she Â was all scars from the surgery. Â Even well- placed by her surgeon, she was still all scars. For the first time ever, I realized that Iâ€™m approaching my mid-forties fast and I have no scars. Okay, 4 puncture wounds from the dog attack when I was little, once where I accidentally stabbed myself with scissors when I was 5, and a hidden spot where a mole was removed, but no roadmap under my Â clothes. Â No Â major Â scars. Â ThatÂ seems Â weird Â to Â me now. I guess I thought all the â€œworkâ€ my colleague had had done would make her 20 again. Instead, she appears thinner but with lots ofâ€¦patches.
3. Surrounding Â myself with supportive people. Some- times this Â means Â not having very many Â people around me, but the ones who are believe in my dreams and push me to accomplish Â them. The other side of it is that Iâ€™m also refraining from discussing certain issues with people I donâ€™t know for certain will be supportiveâ€”and Â especially not with ones I know for sure will nitpick and claw at me. Thatâ€™s harder than it might seem. Some old friends and colleagues Â occasionally Â hunt me down Â to find out things about my personal life so they can then find fault. Iâ€™m better at nipping that, even if it means Iâ€™m checking my watchless wrist two minutes into the conversation and saying, â€œOh, look at the time! I have to run! Kiss, kiss!â€
4. Iâ€™m not waiting Â for other people to come rescue me. (Geez, I didnâ€™t realize that verb was going to be rescue until I typed it.) Iâ€™ve always hated being unable to get a salesperson to help me. I know itâ€™s the way I grew upâ€¦ silently waiting for them to notice me and come fix some- thing or come help me while I stood by politely and let others interrupt and take precedence. Iâ€™m much more apt these days to walk in and grab a salesperson and tell them exactly what I need. In fact, itâ€™s now rare that I donâ€™t.
5. Iâ€™m not as responsive. Â Funny. Iâ€™ve always Â prided myself on Â being Â very responsive, but I donâ€™t need to respond to everything or everyone.
6. Iâ€™m not letting myself get as wrapped up in how people think something should be and spending my time trying to defend it orâ€”not change their minds but trying to stop them from trying to change MY mind.
7. Iâ€™m accepting gifts more. And Iâ€™m slowly getting a little more Â inclined that I might could accept depending on someone Â else Â financially Â while Â I follow Â my Â not-so- lucrative dreams, travel, write, do philanthropic work, or just be a mom. Still not sure if I could do that, but several friends have raised the question of whether I could allow myself the possibility of a future with someone who gives me that kind of Â financial freedom. Thereâ€™s a lot of bag- gage with that idea, with trusting someone to support my dreams. But Iâ€™m starting small and accepting Â gifts Â now
without feeling I have to reciprocate with a gift of equal monetary Â value and that itâ€™s okay for a gift to just be a gift.
8. Iâ€™m sticking to prioritizing my projects according to my Â life Â purpose Â and Â not Â taking on Â any Â new Â resource- sapping projects that donâ€™t fit my life purpose.
9. Iâ€™m allowing myself good things in the future and not automatically deciding that it canâ€™t possibly happen or it wonâ€™t possibly turn out the way Iâ€™ve dreamed. Iâ€™m actively looking for the higher manifestations of all the possible futures Â that branch Â off of each life Â event. Â As for things in the present, Â Iâ€™m enjoying Â them more and actively creating my surroundings to be how I want them to be, Â even Â if Â I Â move Â to Â another Â house Â and Â donâ€™t Â have brown floors and white walls for a quick sale.
10. Iâ€™m demanding respect. People who donâ€™t know meâ€”and those Â who doâ€”may think Iâ€™m being a bitch, but the first person I demand respect of for myself is me. I respect myself for what I do and how I live.
11. (Yeah, I know I said 10, but something Â extra is good!) Iâ€™m Â thinking a little less and doing a little more. More acting on instinct and intuition without questioning it. Even when it seems crazy. If it just suddenly seems the right thing to do, Iâ€™m doing it, no questions asked. Â Iâ€™ve spent too many nights talking myself out of something wonderful because I analyzed it to death. Now, my intuitionâ€™s strong enough to know for certain what wonderful is, so when the opportunity presents itself, I wonâ€™t say no.