Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Burn.
Iâ€™ve known Mady for less than three months, and al- ready heâ€™s worming his way into my heart, especially in the past couple of weeks when futile seems to be the best adjective to de- scribe my relationships with men in general.
I can feel his affection for me, his aura opening up when heâ€™s near.Â Â It seems odd to have such a wildly creative and youthful male energy in my life again, and Iâ€™m really not sure heâ€™s here to stay or why heâ€™s come into my life at this point. But heâ€™s made it clear that he wants to be near me, that he just wants to be with me.
And Iâ€™m touched by his efforts, though Iâ€™m not sure how I feel about him or where this relationship will lead. Or if Iâ€™ll ever talk to him again after today.
I appreciate the conversations we have, even if they are somewhat Â limited at times in subject matter and theyâ€™re not really intimate at all. Heâ€™s fun, inventive, and tender in his tone. I can talk for hours with him, but itâ€™s still not enough to satisfy my thirst for a verbal connection. I wish we had more in common. I wish there were more things to talk about.
When it comes to boys, I miss deep conversation more than anything else, sex included. God, I love long conversations! Nothing beats talking heart to heart, face to face, eye to eye if not cheek to cheek.
Deep conversation. Itâ€™s my anti-drug.