Far too often, spiritual people give their power away. I had not considered the depth of this habit until Obiwan sent me an article a few days ago about how people give away their power to psychics specifically and others in general. It almost seemed strange coming from the person who is my personal coach, helping to keep me motivated and on course so that I can accomplish what I want, but because it’s a guiding relationship rather than a power-exchange, I shouldn’t be surprised at all.
Giving away your power is common throughout our culture, regardless of the individual’s spirituality. That’s easy enough to see when I look at female friends who give up their dreams to please a husband or boyfriend or father. And yes, I’ve been there, too, narrowing a wide range of choices to just one person’s—and that person not being me.
But giving away power really IS more pervasive for spiritual people. There’s another whole layer of people to give away power to, besides the usual friends, family, co-workers, and bosses in a non-spiritual person’s life.
Spiritual people often turn their decisions over to their pastors, high priestesses, ministers, elders, and other spiritual leaders, including friends and family who are more “advanced” on a spiritual path. They consult spiritual coaches, psychics, and teachers. They come to rely on information from elsewhere rather than from within.
Rite of Letting Go — a Southern witch must reclaim her magic and protect her family before she loses everything. Available direct from the author →
I’ve been in those situations myself. It took some hard knocks, but I learned to trust my own intuition and instincts. That doesn’t mean I stopped seeking guidance from others—not at all. I often hear things that I wouldn’t have encountered without a little help, but (Key #1) I know now how to ask myself if that guidance feels right instead of just taking it.
I can recall various teachers, coaches, and friends who, in their capacity as spiritual leaders, gave me well-meaning advice that just didn’t feel right in the gut. I’ve had them tell me that my balking was just that I didn’t want to hear the truth and that I’d better check my ego because they were right about what they saw as the truth. But for me, it didn’t feel like truth, and though it took a while to validate on my own, it wasn’t the truth. What they advised was based on their own filters. Sometimes I gave away my power by trying to live by their advice, and sometimes I rejected it flatly and took back my power and made my own way without them, in the end learning so much more than I ever would have if I’d followed their course.
I’ve discovered that an advisor relationship based on guidance rather than power will provide an advisor who knows and encourages you to change what you don’t want and take action when you feel you need to (Key #2). My own coach does that—so did Yoda, but some previous advisors have not and I let them keep me in turmoil—and though Obiwan helps me figure out what and how to get things done each month and continue to grow spiritually all the while, she does not insist that I do things the way she thinks I should or act disappointed or angry if I don’t. She always encourages me to change the things I don’t like and create a better future for myself, and I leave our sessions feeling empowered about my future (Key #3).
I’ve had spiritual people I’ve sought guidance from tell me what I didn’t want to hear, yes, but I’ve felt the truth of it in my third chakra and knew it was time to admit what I already knew. Spiritual guidance should be either an epiphany or a confirmation, but it should feel like, yes, that’s true somewhere deep inside. And regardless of advice that is true guidance to me, even if the epiphanies are about awful things, I still walk away feeling that the future is brighter than yesterday.
Dark forces. A sinister curse. A Southern witch must reclaim her magic and protect her family before she loses everything.
Visit the Book Page →