How Bad Habits Are Formed
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Passion to the Third Degree.
I have a new habit and itâ€™s a bad one. I have to break this new â€œFriday Night Habit.â€ Like most habits, it started simply and like most bad habits, it solidified way too quickly.
My day job has been grueling recently, but Iâ€™m doing okay, keeping my head above water and not getting caught up in politics and stresses as I used to. Even so, the hours are long and Iâ€™m literally quadruple-booked for the rest of May with it looking much the same through the end of September. Iâ€™m refusing to stress too much about it and, as opposed to the old days, Iâ€™m not taking on everyone elseâ€™s job in addition to my own.
Tonight, like most recent Fridays, I was sitting in a meeting after 5 pm that should have wrapped up hours before but the woman next to me wouldnâ€™t shut up because sheâ€™s a control freak and wants everything done her way, even when sheâ€™s never even looked at the files to know how theyâ€™re done and it has nothing to do with her job, but how will the bosses ever know her name and promote her if she doesnâ€™t call attention to herself? Anyway….
Anyway, this is why I purposely donâ€™t plan dates for Friday nights. I canâ€™t guarantee Iâ€™ll be home before dark. By the time I get home from sitting in dreary meetings, Iâ€™m zonked enough that I think, oh, just a quick nap. And then itâ€™s 10 pm and Iâ€™m getting up, feeling lousy, thinking of all the work that wonâ€™t get done if I just go on to bed.
Then I start working on a project and itâ€™s suddenly 3 am.
I did it again tonight, but Iâ€™m going to force myself to go to bed by 1 am, regardless. Maybe Iâ€™ll change my schedule to take off every other Friday just so I can have a more enjoyable weekend.
Meanwhile, I worked on some covers tonight. I wasnâ€™t in the mood to write that â€œcommercial suspense novelâ€ for the big publisher Iâ€™ve been considering. I knew book sales were way down across the board but I got my royalty statement for Dark Revelations and WTF? Okay, I was prepared but still. For my tiny pressâ€™ books to outsell a suspense novel that got stellar reviews, placement in brick-and-mortar bookstores across the US and Canada, advertising, etc, and part of a series when continuity series tend to sell especially well and the original projection for these books (from the publisher) was 30-40K, well, thereâ€™s no incentive for me to write for the big boys anymore. Such is the current market in the publishing world. So, I did what I often do if Iâ€™m discouraged by the publishing worldâ€”play with something artistic.
Weâ€™re going to be re-publishing some 19th and early 20th century books from my rare book collection. Weâ€™re scanning them and changing the font to something a little easier on the eyes than Courier, reformatting them entirely, and putting new covers on them, as well as some new titles because the original titles read like narrative paragraphs. These include: 1. Thinking it Into Being: the Law of Attraction, Sex Forces, and Other Ideas on the Power of Thought, 2. How to Speak to the Dead: A Practical Guide to Communicating with the Other Side, and 3.Sex Worship: Hail to the Phallus. Okay, the title on the last one may change a little bit since the book is 700 pages long and weâ€™ll likely split it up into volumes.
The fun part for me is that with the â€œrepublished treasures,â€ Iâ€™m using photos of doors on the covers, whether door knockers, lock/keyholes, or whole doorways. Itâ€™s a personally meaningful theme, looking back and unlocking these doors to the past where thoughts werenâ€™t so different from ones my spiritual friends now entertain and you realize, reading the opinions of people long dead, how much hasnâ€™t changed in the past 100 or more years.
Will these sell more than my last â€œcommercial successâ€ for a New York publisher? Who knows! But Iâ€™m enjoying providing education and enlightenment in a little different way, regardless of the financial successes of it. I guess thatâ€™s another bad habit of mine, but itâ€™s one I actually find joy in.