Fabulous photo by Niemster, used under the Creative Commons License.
Most days, I’m in a fairly blissful state of knowing I’m being “taken care of” by the Universe. This wasn’t always so obvious in the past and many times, I thought I knew better than the Universe (or God or the Gods or whatever term you feel comfortable using). After all, I wasn’t getting what I wanted and I wasn’t getting it soon enough, and half the time that made me feel like a failure when it came to manifesting. You know, I think I’ve given the Universe a fail-safe so that I’m protected from myself at times!
Still, a reminder never hurts. I have had those insane moments of “must do this now” when “this” didn’t make sense to anyone else–or to me. I have stepped out in faith and made what felt like a total fool of myself,yet knowing that there was something important in what I was doing. Most of the time–sometimes after years have passed–I learn the true reason for that momentary lapse of “reason” when I had put myself and my feelings out there to connect with someone else and seemed to fall short. Every time so far…every SINGLE time…I later discover that my burst of passion came at a crucial moment for someone else and was exactly what they needed to hear at that time. So I have come to trust my intuition that says “do this insane thing now” even when it’s logically a terrible thing for me to do, or at least, seems to be. But then there’s the flip side of the Universe protecting me. It’s those times, like this week, when I feel I logically SHOULD do something in particular and I’m torn. This is almost always because I am too
close emotionally to the situation or feel powerless to change it. The reminder this week came when I was asked a question, point-blank, and felt that I logically should answer it. I didn’t want to–and I did want to. It was an odd mix of anger, betrayal, hurt, and justice, all wrapped in a neat little ball of flesh and pain. So I stepped forward to answer…and hit a brick wall. And then another, and another, and another. Something kept me from answering. Yet, I’m a rather persistent person so I kept shoving the answer back out there, knowing that it was a betrayal of sorts with long-term ramifications if anyone heard me. I was unsure enough of what I was doing–all logically, of course–to put it in the hands of the Universe and say, “If this isn’ meant to come from me, stop it for me.”
And it was stopped, on so many levels that it was humorous.
My message that I felt I should be the one to give because I was the logical one? It never made it. Not from me. Someone unexpected stepped in and answered, someone who had not had the information I did until just that moment. Their message–the same as mine, ironically–came through loud and clear whereas mine was lost in the wind. For whatever reason, I was not to be the one to balance the scales of justice. I didn’t have to worry about betrayal or regret. The information I had was being broadcast but without an emotional price from me. Whether or not I was doing the right thing was being “taken care of,” I felt serenely later. And yet getting the information out there to help someone else was also being “taken care of.”
For all those who preach to “Let go and let God,” it’s just not that easy. We need little reminders like this one to know we’re taken care of…and that it’s taken care of, regardless of what “it” is.
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