Category: Grief
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The Surprising Shadow Side of Wonderful Things
The photo on the left was my engagment photo, taken around March 1986. It was the beginning of an era…the one where I began a family of two (my spouse and me), then added two children over the next few years. The photo on the right was taken a few weeks ago, March 2011, as…
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Old Fangs: When You Can’t Talk to Your Father….
A friend recently shared this haunting short film with me, and I have not been able to forget it. I know that my own dad had deep feelings and that he loved us, but he could never share his gentler feelings, which was what I really needed from him. The closest he could come to…
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When You’re Older…and Everyone Disapproves of Your New Love
Self-portrait; one very happy afternoon, preparing for guests and the evening’s Life-Death-and-the-Universe conversations. Photo copyright by Lorna Tedder. Granddaddy’s been gone for over 15 years, but if he were alive tonight at 105, I’d want to ask his relationship advice. Not about a romantic relationship but about how to deal with disapproval of a…
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The Dark Night of the Soul
Sparklers on the Fairy Tree, a fav of neighborhood children. Photo copyright by Lorna Tedder. The Dark Night of the Soul is a rather ominous term for something that happens in some lives, but not all. I believe that some people actually make it through their entire existence on the planet without encountering anything as…
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Lessons of Worthlessness from the Lack of Being Heard
Growing up, I spent a lot of time roaming the countryside around my home. Back then, there were many trees in the fields–now taken by lightning–and many old barns around the farm–now taken by storms and rot. The land itself has always been peaceful to me, and in my dreams and meditations, this is my…
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From Heartbreak to Higher Ground: Turning Points in Our Lives
This photo reminds me of the 5 of Wands Tarot card, the sense of desolation Of course, 5’s in the Tarot are all about choices….. Photo copyright by Aislinn Bailey, all rights reserved. When you’re in the midst of a heartbreak or trauma, it’s very easy feel stuck in the muck. I have come to…
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Showing your Injuries
Photo copyright by Aislinn Bailey; all rights reserved. When someone I dislike does something to hurt me, especially intentionally, I want to bare my teeth and claws and think nothing of going for the jugular. If they do something to someone I care about, I’ll shred them without thinking. When someone I care about does…
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In Spite of It All, Life Is Good
Originally published in Third Degree of Freedom. Two women from the Philippines are helping me with a home project. They’re smart, they work hard, and they’re compassionate. Traits I obviously admire. And even though they’ve both been handed their share of tragedy, they still agree, “Life is good.” One is a single mother of six…
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Making Peace in Dysfunctional Families: How to Fix It and Whether You Should
Genuinely enjoying one another’s company. A family outing to Grayton Beach, with Lorna, Aislinn, Shannon, and Brian. All photos copyrighted. In every dysfunctional family, there’s at least one do-goodin’ peacemaker who is either a blood relative, an in-law, or a “concerned family friend.” Ironically, it’s usually not so much about making peace among hostile relatives…
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Negotiating the Miscarriage: Energetic Abortions and Untimely or Unwanted Pregnancies
Brace yourself. This is going to be controversial. It may make you cry, or it may make you angry, or–if you don’t believe in anything you can’t see–you may roll your eyes. In fact, if you’re not an open-minded person, just go ahead and click away from here now because there’s nothing in what I…