What It Is Wednesday: Orange Tabby Cats

tellit-Wed

Orange tabby cats make me feel better. Why? Because they are my reminders to keep the faith, to keep my focus on where I’m going. Whenever I start to doubt, they show up. Like in my newsfeed tonight at a moment of despair.

A sign from God, I was told. Watch for it, I was told. It’s been so long since I heard that.

It’s kind of an odd story, one where I was told almost 2 years ago that certain big things would happen in my life. I was given a timeline, even. The milestones to watch for as these changes came into being, some very sweet but first some difficulties to get through.

First get through….this, then get through….that, and….next this enlightening thing will happen, and finally….this other thing you been waiting for followed by one last amazing thing that’s like the cherry on top. These last two things you’ve always wanted.

No, this wasn’t nebulous. It was very, very precise, even if I didn’t really want it at the time and didn’t believe it at the time.

And somewhere in there, I was told to watch for an orange and white tabby cat, that I’d know my sweeter things were beginning to arrive when the orange tabby started showing up.

So naturally, I immediately went in search of orange tabbies. I didn’t find any. Because orange tabbies are the secret, right?

I know what you’re thinking: selective vision. That I started seeing them when I started looking for them. But no.

I couldn’t find any anywhere. I even had to look up an orange tabby and was told, “Like Garfield.” They weren’t in my neighborhood, in my Facebook newsfeed, in magazines, at friends’ houses, nothing. I couldn’t even find a Garfield comic book.

Then one day, I was finishing up about 10 miles on the jogging paths and in the last quarter mile before home when I almost stumbled over a pretty little orange tabby that had escaped (I later found out) from a neighbor’s house. I had to whip out my phone and take a photo because I’d not seen the cat before or any similar, either live or reasonable facsimiles thereof. It lay at my feet and showed me its belly and purred like a lover.

The first orange tabby cat, a year after I was told to watch for it as a sign.

The first orange tabby cat, a year after I was told to watch for it as a sign.

Then I started seeing another here and there. And I started to see evidence of the things I’ve been waiting for. Not that they were easy to deal with, but the difficulties propelled me toward the sweeter things. In a big way.

Big things are wrapping up, setting up everything else for harmony, for the sweet things, everything falling into place. But it’s not all done yet. There still progress that must be made before I have what I’ve wanted for, really, all my life.

The funny thing is that every time I get a case of serious doubts, I look up and there’s an orange tabby–on social media, a photo from a friend on their site, in the neighborhood. Almost instantly.

It’s just a sign. We all need signs, right? Just a reminder to not give up on the good stuff to come.

And by the way, all this time, I’ve been wondering why an orange tabby cat would be my “sign from God” of dreams coming true in every way.   Tonight, I found this old picture.   I guess I forget these things when I was only two.

My first orange tabby catMy first orange tabby cat

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Back in January 2005, I started blogging regularly at a LiveJournal site called SuperGirl@40 as part of my personal therapy to work through healing from a failed marriage…and then suddenly working through all the other crap in my life from  childhood.  It was a significant part of my healing journey and I shared raw emotions and “dauntless reality” with others in a small circle of new friends who were also dealing with healing from long ago  and recent traumas.   It was a fairly private blog–well, that privacy  lasted until one of my kids mentioned it to an ex-inlaw and then I took a deep breath and watched it go public very quickly.  I still write in that raw and profound way I’m known for but having healed so many of my early and frequent wounds, I don’t really write the heavy, raw, vulnerabilities like I used to.  I’m committing here to bringing that back, in case you wonder if it ever really left.  That means committing to putting the big, scary stuff out there.

The above  post is my contribution to this week’s edition of a blog hop started by Kelley Harrell of Soul Intent Arts called “What It Is Wednesday,” which gives bloggers a chance to dauntlessly tell it like it is. You can view the inaugural post to learn more about joining in or just to read other blogs in the hop.