State of mind has a lot to do with our communications and how we perceive life. Something that puts us in a negative state of mind or feeling of being under attack can make the simplest subsequent communication with a stranger seem equally negative or malevolent. Like most people, I need reminders of this, and reminders I get.
I walk, jog, sprint for 1 to 2 ½ hours a day, every day, often while listening to educational material or dictating my own books. On a chilly February afternoon, I had just stepped into the bright sunshine near a lake I usually pass and stood there, blinking into the warmth as my FitBit buzzed my 10,000th step. As I stood there, several people I usually see on my daily treks passed and waved or spoke as I reminisced about a particularly happy moment earlier in the week. Then, for a split second, my mind slipped into a moment that wasn’t so happy where I’d felt at a distinct disadvantage.
A few seconds later, another man I frequently see on my treks said “Hello” as he passed me. I said “Hello” back and was surprised to hear him murmur “There’s no full moon tonight.” Whether it was to himself or to me, I couldn’t tell.
No full moon tonight? It was mid-afternoon. What did that mean?
Full moon? Full moon?
It had nothing to do with this particular day or even the time of day. Full moon.
Had he said full moon or wolf moon?
Full moon or wolf moon? Full moon or wolf moon? There’s no wolf moon tonight.
Is that what he said? Wasn’t the wolf moon the last full moon we had?
Or was he talking about werewolves?
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, looking down at my shins. I hadn’t shaved my legs before I went out for a run. What that what he meant? Was he making fun of me? Was he calling attention to something I’d forgotten on a busy Saturday? Why else would he say that?
I shook it off and brought myself back to center, back to a place where I had been a few minutes before, a place of serenity, calmness, at peace with the world before I fell into a particularly bad memory. Standing there on the bridge, looking out into the sunshine on one side of the lake, I turned and looked at the other side of the bridge, at the golden sunlight on the waters there, and suddenly remembered only a few weeks ago being out for my miles a bit later than usual and a beautiful, round, full, bright moon rising over the waters.
I’d been standing at this very spot, staring at that full moon, when this particular man had walked past me and looked at my face and then up and the moon. We stood there, together, for just a brief minute, chatting about how beautiful it was, before he walked off. I hadn’t recognized him this day with sunglasses on.
I looked down at my clean shaven shins below the hem of my athletic capris and I had to laugh at myself. How I had almost let one bad memory that had nothing at all to do with today put me in a frame of mind to hear everything in the context of negativity.
Key Takeaway: When we think negatively, we will likely speak and act negatively not only towards ourselves but also towards others.
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