Manifesting with the Law of Attraction vs Spirituality
I’ve put my spirituality on the back burner for the last several years, and I didn’t even realize it. I have many active sectors in my life, and some have been very time-consuming, enough so that I cannot do everything I want and I cannot focus on all the things I’d like. For the past several years, I’ve lived a full life — exciting and enjoyable “mundane” work that is intensely meaningful to me, health improvement and active exercise program, a very active romantic life with one man and afterward a few brief dating relationships, educational pursuits, home improvement, financial successes, occasional creative pursuits, family when available to me, some good friends. Not so much the “sacred” work, though. I had rearranged my priorities to fit with the people who were important to me and the people who were available to me, and somewhere along the way, I settled for less and forgot what I was missing. I ignored the void. And that’s something I can never go back to, either in men or in my spirituality.
Most people can’t tell that I’ve put my spirituality on the back burner because my external actions haven’t changed much. Internally, however, there’s been a big chunk of something I had a long time ago that’s been missing, something I’ve let Law of Attraction and my abilities as an adept handle without even thinking of it. I’ve continued to teach and counsel, but my learning has been slowed and my spiritual power has been muted. I had assumed I’d gone as far as I could go with my spiritual pursuits and personal power, but I hated that assumption and refused to voice it. It had been a long time since I’d been in the presence of new experiences and new teachers and felt the thrum-thrum-thrum of our united vibration. My younger daughter and I agreed after experiencing it again for the first time since around 2005 or maybe as late as 2006, that we MISSED that part of our lives desperately. I’m glad she felt it, too, and agreed, because I’d thought the same thing 6 weeks before and now I knew I wasn’t alone in remembering how good these powerful vibes felt.
See, even though I’ve semi-regularly continued to blog on spiritual topics and meet throughout the year with my local Circle, my focus hasn’t been as much on my spirituality as it was before, for two main reasons.
1. Around 2010, I settled into a really pleasant and passive relationship with the Gods. I didn’t need to do anything particularly special any more to manifest what I wanted. Not that I manifested absolutely everything I wanted, but most things, yes. Even incredibly unusual things, I could manifest with little trouble at all. I didn’t need a ritual to “make things happen,” so I tended not to take my intentions, desire, and power into a cast circle and commune with Deity over what I wanted to manifest. I just did it. Want an exciting job? I’m put there a couple of months after stating how it looks. Want my dream job? So what if the Air Force has to reorganize for that job to exist! Done, and done.
But without actively petitioning the Gods. It’s a little like being in a relationship where you love deeply but aren’t in love any longer. It’s a smooth relationship but without the thrum-thrum-thrum of lifeblood in your ears. That’s the difference between manifesting with Law of Attraction…and manifesting with spirituality and Law of Attraction. To me, anyway.
2. As many of the previous teachers left my life or they failed to be able to teach me more, I settled into extremely close relationships with people whose spirituality was quite different from my own. At one point last summer, I even contemplated whether I could relatively easily settle back into a relationship with the Christian Church. My version of Christianity is aligned with First-Century Christianity rather than mainstream Christianity, so I could have force-fit myself into it and found a tentative spot to commune with other spiritual people, though it was most likely that I’d have a far, far better understanding of them than they of me. That, if anything was a sure sign that I was giving up on my ability to be me and to be accepted for me, to be understood and loved for me, rather than tolerated for me. I can meld myself into most anywhere, but very few people know and accept the real me.
I was on the fence even as late as mid-March about whether to try to fit back into mainstream spirituality so that I could find others like me.
No. That’s not it. Not so I could find others like me. So I could find companionship, not acceptance and love. So I could find a place with minimal acceptance as long as I kept my mouth shut and played the game.
My daughters have told me frequently in the last year that I’m unlikely to find a true mate in my geographical area because of the structured thinking here. Or as they say much more sweetly, “Mom, nobody here is cool enough or open-minded enough to really get you, so you need to move to a big city if you stand a chance of not being alone the rest of your life.” My last venture into dating seemed to prove that–Christian men abound, but they’re mostly unwilling to date anyone who isn’t unless there’s a shot at converting her, and I’m not willing to lie about my faith to get a date. So if I take Christian men out of the local dating pool, that pool shrinks to a damp spot on the ground. I could extend my coverage beyond my 50 mile radius, but I’m wanting something closer to home so I can spend time daily with a partner and be able to fall asleep with him without contemplating a couple of hours’ drive home for either of us.
So the choice has been–unless I move–to be alone or to compromise myself, and I’ve elected to be alone. And that’s okay…or not…because I keep searching for a different solution, because “creative solutions” is what I’m known for and I apply them to my personal life as easily as I do to my professional life. Then again, any solutions I come up with are for me only and not anything I’d force on someone else. Maybe that one is better left to the Gods to take care of for me.
But in this time of tremendous personal and spiritual growth, I’ve been exposed to something I’d forgotten. It’s not just me feeling the thrum of these new experiences. My daughter and a couple of friends have felt it, too, in our recent work together. I can’t believe we’d forgotten it. It’s like falling in love again and thinking you’d never have that feeling again. Like being in love again and suddenly remembering what life was like before you were devoid of the passion, the power, the connection.
But I feel it now. Loudly. Clearly. And I’m in, all in. I can separate my manifesting prowess from spirituality, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to put this on the back burner again. I don’t want to forget the magick and the power.
I’m back in love.
With the Gods, with the Universe, with the Law of Attraction Vortex, with Spirit. Call it what you will.
Or don’t call it anything at all. Just immerse in the feeling of love and being loved and being in love.