The Fifth Chakra Exercise: What I Wish I Could Say, the 2011 Edition

Every year around this time, I do a little life coaching exercise that’s featured in Give Your Life Direction.  The idea is to make a list of things I wish I could say but, for whatever reason, can’t.  Maybe because the other person is dead.  Maybe because it would be too dangerous to confront them.  Maybe because the other person lives far away.  Or maybe because I just don’t feel I can be honest with my emotions, whether they are jealous, angry, or wounded.  My fifth chakra, the throat chakra, has often been rather weak, but I’ve been actively strengthening it.

The first year I tried this exercise, I had a list as long as my arm.  It was only  “supposed” to be ten things, but I kept going, shocked at how much I’d kept bottled up.  A few years later, the list was down to the five to eight range. Last year, I had to dig a little harder and still ended up in the five to eight range, thanks mostly to some secrets I was keeping for someone else. Every year of this exercise, the burden gets a little lighter.

Last year, for the 2010 version, I had absolutely nothing.  No anger, no jealousy, no I’m-hurt, no why-did-you-do-this?, no nothing of that sort.  I had little to nothing that I had bottled up, no emotion I was swallowing because I was afraid to say it or feared the ramifications if I did.

Every year, the burden gets lighter.  I speak up so much more.  I find it’s good for me to do that, even if some of the people in my life may be a little alarmed and even though it sometimes scares people at work, especially the bosses…if I’m being especially candid.  But it feels so much more like I walk in my own power.

But don’t assume this year isn’t any different from last year, just because there is absolutely no one in my past or present that I feel I wish I could say something to but can’t.  The biggest difference this year is not in what I wish I could say, but that I have people in my life who not only allow me to say what I feel the deepest or the scariest things that come to mind, but also welcome what I have to say.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing, I feel I need to hold back.  I can speak up and be heard and still be cherished for what I have to say.

Took a really long time to get here, but I’m glad I came.