Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Passion to the Third Degree .
Pensacola Guy, a cute mid-30-something I dated once in the early spring of this year, has suddenly remembered my number after disappearing, mainly due to his work and some trips abroad. Heâ€™s back in town as of this past week and wants to go out.
Iâ€™ve declined to see him again.
No special reason. And thatâ€™s just it.
Heâ€™s fun, I suppose. I just wasnâ€™t attracted to him. Heâ€™s intelligent…heâ€™s…I donâ€™t know. I think a lot of other girls would be quite happy with him, but Iâ€™ve declined.
Itâ€™s not that I wouldnâ€™t give him a second chance. Itâ€™s not that I wouldnâ€™t be willing to give any guy a second chance. But I have a guideline for that.
I have to feel good being with someone. There are guys Iâ€™ve dated that Iâ€™ve felt really good withâ€”I mean really good just hanging out withâ€”and though I havenâ€™t seen them in a while, Iâ€™d be willing to see if that really good feeling is still there. Itâ€™s that feeling of omigod-can-we-just-bottle-this? When you both know youâ€™ve connected.
I canâ€™t say that for Pensacola Guy. I found myself watching the clock during our first and only date. I found myself wondering if Iâ€™d have enough time to water the plants when I got home and how to make sure he didnâ€™t invite himself back to the house. There was no sense of wanting to keep talking to him or wishing the night wouldnâ€™t end. And thatâ€™s what I want in a date. In just hanging out with a guy. In just â€œdoing nothingâ€ with a guy.
So thatâ€™s my guideline. Not that heâ€™s not worth seeing again but that my time with him doesnâ€™t leave me feeling wonderful.
And not that I expect every minute with any man to leave me feeling wonderful every time, but itâ€™s got to be a lot more often than none at all for me to agree to another date.
Being with someone I feel good with is special reason enough.