Donâ€™t Test Me
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree and Rising.
For the past couple of weeks, Iâ€™ve had the feeling that my heart was closed off. It would seem that this would have happened months ago rather than weeks ago but this sense of being closed down has come more recently, almost like it slipped in unnoticed and shut my heart and quietly turned the key.
That was the intent, wasnâ€™t it?
There are places Iâ€™ve visited recently in my dreams and meditations, where Iâ€™ve witnessed some frightening things and some things I couldnâ€™t understand. Iâ€™m fortunate enough to be able to visit the same places on the physical plane, and thatâ€™s where Iâ€™ve been this weekend.
It may seem scary to walk to the exact spot on the ground where youâ€™ve seen amazing things in the Ether, but I did it twice today. I wasnâ€™t sure what would happen in either case when I arrived, but the ground didnâ€™t melt under my feet and I didnâ€™t flinch.
What I had suspected has been confirmed. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge something to make it go away. Sometimes you have to confront it head on. But in either case, you cannot expel it until you recognize what it is and then stop simply being nice about it or just ignoring it in hopes itâ€™ll go away without you having to put out any real effort.
What youâ€™ve just heard is a grand sigh from me. Fine. Iâ€™ll get up and do something about it and put an end to this shit. Fine. Make me put out an effort. Testing me is not a good idea, not when itâ€™s a matter of the heart.
Standing on the physical ground today of where Iâ€™ve been in the Ether this past week confirmed my intuition and taught me a little about myself.
And re-opened my heart.